The Royal Rumble match is a very interesting occasion. It’s generally pretty clear on a year-to-year basis who the winner is going to be, but there are always those seeds of doubt that many of us probably believe in for the sake of unpredictability. There are also the fringe possibilities, guys who could conceivably win but more than likely won’t.
Finally, there are the impossibles. Guys who you wouldn’t expect to win in a million years. Whether it’s because they’re a life-long “jobber” like Curt Hawkins or someone with tons of promise and what feels like thousands of failed opportunities like his former tag partner Zack Ryder, it’s not a match to be won because the logic isn’t there, even in an illogical company like WWE.
That doesn’t mean it’s definitely impossible for these men to win, however. Some good booking and creativity can get pretty much anybody ready for the WrestleMania main event in 2 months’ time -- if they really wanted to. Hell, not that it really matters a ton. They decided to give Jinder Mahal the WWE Title and just did it without any build, because why not? Again, the illogical is somehow logical in WWE’s world. Jinder Mahal is proof that the old phrase that WWE used to use, saying that “anything can happen” is indeed true. With that in mind, here are 5 guys who won’t win the Royal Rumble match, but they really should.
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#5 Cesaro
This isn’t a very controversial pick, at least when it comes to writing for internet fans. Cesaro is widely respected as a great wrestler who should have had the rocket strapped to him on a number of occasions, but for whatever reason WWE just… didn’t. Whether it was because they didn’t believe he was a good enough talker or someone just didn’t like him and decided that even with humongous reactions he wasn’t “over” with the crowd, he had the rug pulled out from under him on at least 2 occasions when he was really building momentum.
In 2018, he’s a little over a year into his successful pairing with former foe Sheamus. They are a great tag team, one of a few that Cesaro has been involved in during his WWE career. This one is definitely the best team and most successful as well, holding the RAW Tag Titles multiple times and having some great matches, even defeating the returning Hardy Boyz. It looks like there’s a possibility that in the coming weeks WWE may have a reason to dissolve the team -- they’ve been in a never-ending feud with Shield members and Jason Jordan and will likely lose their title rematch at the Rumble PPV event. If that’s what happens, WWE probably won’t have any idea what to do with them and will treat them as a lost cause.
Pair that up with Sheamus’ injuries and possible upcoming retirement, and it could be Cesaro’s time. The crowd would absolutely buy him as a victor in the Rumble match. He’s big, he’s strong and he has gone toe-to-toe with some of the best WWE has to offer. If he wins the match, a potential conflict with Brock Lesnar writes itself. Cesaro is arguably the strongest guy, at least pound-for-pound, in the company, and Brock is one of the biggest and physically dominant men the company has ever seen. We all know both men can be absolute brutes in the ring, both with their strength, quickness, and ability to dish out a ton of violent punishment. People would eat it up.
#4 Jason Jordan
Jordan is a world-class amateur wrestler, just like Brock Lesnar. He’s a big guy. Not a giant by any means, but he wouldn’t be dwarfed by the Universal Champion in any sense of the word. Kurt Angle’s storyline son has given some of the biggest stars in WWE, namely John Cena and Roman Reigns, a run for their money and has come close to defeating them.
He’s a really strong wrestler and seems to be getting good at portraying the jerky character that he has been cast in. He’s not supposed to be a babyface. The crowd isn’t supposed to love him, and I don’t think enough people realize that.
With that in mind, people would hate to see him win the Royal Rumble. Why not use it? Unlike the way they would hate Roman Reigns winning (which they will if he does win), WWE won’t run with trying to make him the good-guy underdog that Reigns is portrayed to be. Jordan will get a big head, get even cockier and more confident than he already is, and the audience will love booing him every week leading up to a Universal Title shot at WrestleMania.
Add to that the fact that his dad wrestled Brock for the World Title 15 years ago in the main event of WrestleMania, and you have a number of built-in stories to tell in the 2 months prior to the match. He doesn’t have to, nor should he, win, but it would be a great change of pace, and certainly an unexpected one.
#3 Mojo Rawley
This winner would definitely be out of nowhere, wouldn’t it? Heck yeah, it would, but why not go for it? Mojo has improved a ton as an in-ring performer since being called up to SmackDown Live from NXT, and with his athletic ability and passion, he could more than hold up his end of the bargain in a match with WWE Champion AJ Styles. It would absolutely be a better match than what AJ was able to pull out of Jinder since Mojo is leaps and bounds better than Mahal is in the ring.
Also, you can’t sleep on Rawley’s speaking ability. His passion and intensity shine extremely bright when he talks. When he was a good guy on his own during the period of time when his tag partner Zack Ryder was out with an injury he didn’t have a ton of success, but when he got the chance to talk, he looked and sounded comfortable, and more importantly, sincere. The same can be said for his promo work since turning heel. It feels like he means everything he says. You can turn that into something special if you want to, and it won’t take a ton of time to get people to buy into it.
#2 Big E
Big E is an immensely talented individual with a ton of personality and charisma. He has played it serious and comedic as both a good guy and a bad guy over the course of his time in NXT and WWE and he has shined in every role he has been given. He’s also a really, really talented wrestler. He’s big, fast, and intense, plus he has great timing and knows how to keep the crowd interested.
The New Day have been rumored to be splitting up for a long time, but never have. They don’t have to break up in order for Big E to get a WrestleMania title shot, or to even become WWE Champion. It would make the group even more of a high-profile trio than they already are, and it would make their eventual parting of ways more important than it already surely will be.
#1 Rusev
Do I even have to write anything more than just his name? Since his arrival 4 years ago in the Royal Rumble match, Rusev has been nothing but stellar. He has knocked it out of the park each and every time WWE has given him a shot, yet they seem unwilling to pull the trigger. I don’t know if it’s a situation like Cesaro -- he’s foreign, so they don’t want him getting over as a good guy, plus his accent is strong, so they don’t think he can talk well enough?
I don’t know what the reasoning could possibly be because Rusev has everything you want in a top superstar. He’s big, he’s charismatic, he can wrestle, and the crowd pays attention when he is on the screen or in the ring.
His recent “Rusev Day” gimmick has become a huge hit with the fans. It was probably just going to be a throwaway segment and WWE didn’t likely think much of it, but suddenly it blew up. Now he’s got a shirt that’s selling out in arenas and online and a fanbase inside every arena that goes absolutely nuts for him and are just begging for him to win every time he has a match.
WWE still seems intent on keeping him as a bad guy and are relegating him to a tag team. It’s a good team -- he and Aiden English are a great pair -- but it’s beneath the place Rusev should be. It would be a crime for Rusev to never break out as a top star in WWE. The iron is extremely hot right now. Strike, WWE! Strike!