5 Unlikely Things that Lana was going to say to Aiden English

Last week’s episode of SmackDown left us on a significant cliffhanger. After Aiden English and Rusev had apparently gone their separate ways, with English turning on his running buddy the week before, the plot thickened. English revealed footage of Lana coming to him and disclosing, “I want you.” The footage cut off with English claiming that he couldn’t show the rest because he was entertaining offers from TMZ. Regardless, the implication was that something inappropriate had happened between the two of them, though the point at which the video cut off so abruptly obviously leaves a lot to the imagination.

What did Lana say next on that tape? No one may no for sure (and in reality, WWE may have straight up stopped taping at that moment, their mission accomplished). Still, just for fun, let’s give some thought to what Lana might have said next to Aiden English, behind those closed doors.

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5. This is because I’m still annoyed about Summer Rae

What if Lana hadn't forgotten about an old grudge?

One of the biggest turning points, not to mention unresolved plot holes in Rusev’s WWE career is the program between The Bulgarian Brute and Dolph Ziggler. During this angle, Lana seemed to turn face and side with The Show Off, while Rusev dressed up Summer Rae like Lana and essentially replaced the Ravishing Russian.

Kayfabe and reality collided in uncomfortable ways, as Rusev and Lana very publicly got engaged while this story was unfurling in kayfabe. In an age when WWE was still finding its footing with social media and striking the balance between fact and fiction, they clumsily cancelled the whole angle en route to Rusev and Lana continuing their heel act as if nothing had happened.

So maybe WWE actually did have a master plan after all, and Lana had spent the months with Aiden English in the Rusev camp plotting to finally get back at her husband for his past infidelity? Maybe…

4. I want to be a Vaudevillain

What if Lana wanted to fill Simon Gotch's spot?

Lana’s character launched as a mostly cold Russian mercenary type, in a gimmick that seemed to emulate Ivan Drago’s wife Ludmilla from Rocky IV. Down the line, and particularly as Lana started more actively wrestling as a singles act, WWE added additional dimensions to the character, including her being a dancer.

Meanwhile, Aiden English began his career playing up a hammy old school theatre gimmick as half of the Vaudevillains tag team with Simon Gotch. After Gotch left the company, English didn’t totally eschew his own personality, but rather leaned into the singing element of it as he transitioned to playing Rusev’s hype man.

If Lana were to have really sought out a connection with English after he parted ways from Rusev, could it be built on the premise of the two of them entertaining crowds as reimagined take on The Vaudevillains. Particularly with so much mixed tag team action in WWE of late, Lana could have worse ideas.

3. Have you ever heard of a devil’s triangle?

Lana might have had some ideas that included Rusev.

Lana and Rusev have been a real life item as well as an on screen couple for WWE for years now. Over the years, WWE has played around with kayfabe affairs disrupting couples to add complexity and a personal edge to programs. It happened to intensify the issue between Edge and The Big Show going into WrestleMania 25. It happened when Trish Stratus turned heel to team up with Christian against Chris Jericho. WWE even teased this kind of dynamic between The Rock and Steve Austin, when meddling Mr. McMahon assigned Stone Cold’s wife Deborah to manage The Great One.

WWE could go into more of a shade of grey this time, though. In particular playing off current events and references to devil’s triangles in the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearings, might Lana try to instigate her own three-way arrangement with Rusev and English?

2. I’ve lost my smile

What if Lana, like Shawn Michaels, lost her smile?

Shawn Michaels is back for an unexpected epilogue to his storied career, which causes long time fans to think back to their memories from yesteryear. One of the more infamous moments of Michaels’s career came when he relinquished the WWE Championship in early 1997, citing that he’d “lost his smile.” The moment was fraught with controversy. It was, ostensibly a cover for a nagging knee injury, but read to a lot of his colleagues like he was making up an excuse to not have to lose the title in the ring—something that it’s theorized he was supposed to do with Bret Hart as his opponent at WrestleMania, as a receipt for the previous year.

Lana doesn’t have any sort of title ramifications attached to her, but citing that she’d lost her smile in her marriage with Rusev, or in losing Aiden English as their partner in crime could offer a wink toward Shawn Michaels’s return and begin to explain Lana apparently coming on to English.

1. I did it for The Rock … I did it for the people

In the tradition of Rikishi, what if Lana did it for The Rock?

Why would Lana cheat on Rusev with Aiden English? It could be a matter of personal taste in men, liking his singing voice, or building a personal connection to him. Alternatively,, it all could be a ruse(v).

But what if she did it for The Rock?

Like Rikishi before her, what if Lana nonsensically opted to go to an extreme to do The Brahma Bull a favor he never asked for, and that didn’t really end up benefiting him in any meaningful way? It’s a stretch, but maybe this could be the first step in reintroducing The Rock to the WWE Universe’s collective consciousness in preparation for his rumored return in time for WrestleMania season. Better yet, there is some rationale for this choice, because Rusev did have a confrontation with The Rock four years ago on Raw that WWE has never meaningfully paid off.