5 Worst Wrestling Matches Of 1994

Undertaker vs. Undertaker
Undertaker vs. Undertaker

What makes a wrestling match bad? That is usually a subjective concept, but there are a few key points that can help you decide on whether a match is truly ‘bad’.

The first is a lack of athleticism. Wrestlers are supposed to do things inside a wrestling that normal people can’t, which is why people watch them. In all five of the matches included herein, there is a pronounced lack of athleticism expected of its participants. For some, it’s because they lack the experience needed to pull such things off, while for others it’s because the match they were booked in required little-to-no athleticism whatsoever.

Second, there is a match’s booking and structure. If a match is intended to be a comedy match, you’re not likely to get much out of it. However, comedy matches are hard to pull off well, because it’s hard to know what people will and won’t laugh at. On the other side of things, a good match can be completely ruined by a bad ending.

Finally, a lack of crowd enthusiasm is enough to kill an otherwise passable match. If the crowd doesn’t care, the atmosphere of the wrestling match is destroyed. All of the matches on this list involve that final element to varying degrees, but in every case it’s enough for these matches to completely stink out the building.

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5. Johnny B. Badd vs. Honky Tonk Man – Clash Of The Champions XXIX

Some wrestlers simply don't know how to change with the times...
Some wrestlers simply don't know how to change with the times...

Compared to a lot of bad matches in this series, this particular contest wasn’t exceptionally bad. The problem here was that Honky Tonk Man’s wrestling style and offense were so dated and out of place that they barely got any reaction out of the audience.

Honky’s attacks were largely boring and phony-looking strikes, Memphis-style cheap-shots and ref bumps. There wasn’t anything particularly exciting about this match as it progressed, and this was worsened by a DQ finish involving a guitar shot to the head.

While this match isn’t terrible compared to a lot of matches we look at, in a vacuum it’s one of those contests that you wouldn’t otherwise remember for being anything special. Then again, the Honky Tonk Man was never meant to be taken too seriously as a wrestler, which is probably why he never really blew anyone away if they weren’t in his native Memphis.

4. El Gigante vs. Tadao Yasuda – NJPW Wrestling Dontaku 1994

The good news (for you, the reader) is that there is no video footage available of this dreadful wrestling match, so here is a random image of one of the participants instead
The good news (for you, the reader) is that there is no video footage available of this dreadful wrestling match, so here is a random image of one of the participants instead

In the 1990s, NJPW had a working relationship with WCW, which is why each company’s wrestlers appeared on each other’s shows. El Gigante, the former Giant Gonzalez, wrestled in a three-minute match on this show, because for some reason WCW wanted to push him.

Unfortunately, even in NJPW, where in-ring work is given more emphasis, Gigante couldn’t do very much of anything. His offense in this match was consisted of Great Khali-like pushes and moves so simple and slow it looked like he was wrestling underwater. His finisher consisted of an Iron Claw, a move that hasn’t been popular anywhere in the world since the 1970s.

Yet this was apparently enough for Gigante to win, because it was obvious he couldn’t do anything else. It really seemed like a waste of time for both companies, as NJPW could’ve had a better wrestler in Gigante’s place for this match and it would’ve been a much better contest.

3. Undertaker vs. 'Underfaker' – SummerSlam 1994

youtube-cover

SummerSlam 1994 is famous for having one of the best WWE matches ever in Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart. On that same card was one of the company’s worst matches in the Undertaker vs. Undertaker match-up.

The problem with this match was that Undertaker was booked to wrestle a man that was basically booked like himself: a zombie-like monster that didn’t experience pain. But instead of that match coming off as ‘indestructible force meets immovable object’, it came off instead as ‘a mountain wrestling a glacier’.

The in-ring action was so boring that the fans were completely silent during the match. Commentator Vince McMahon tried to sell that as the fans ‘being stunned’ but the truth is that they were bored, not stunned.

Worse, the actual storyline came across as cartoonish and silly instead of serious. It sucked so bad that even today, WWE doesn’t discuss this rivalry ever. It was so bad in its execution that if it wasn’t for the real Undertaker wearing purple gloves, fans wouldn’t’ve been able to distinguish one wrestler from another.

2. ‘Jungle’ Jim Steele vs. The Equalizer

Sometimes all it takes to ruin a match is a flat ending
Sometimes all it takes to ruin a match is a flat ending

This nothing match got rated -2.5 stars by the Wrestling Observer, and it’s easy to see why. It features two wrestlers with limited skill, one of them appears to be trying to impersonate Jimmy Snuka.

Bad gimmick aside, this match would’ve been completely forgotten had it not been for the finishing move Steele used to win. Out of all the hundreds or thousands of wrestling moves used by 1994, Steele won with…a Lou Thesz Press.

You know, that move ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin used to take someone down before punching them while on top of them. Only Steele didn’t even hit the punches afterwards. He just hit the move and it was enough to get a three-count. Not even Lou Thesz, who invented this move, has ever been recorded to have won with it.

The match was boring, uninspiring, and apart from that terrible finish, void of anything memorable. It just goes to show you how wrestlers in Japan, ECW and even WWE were lightyears ahead of some of WCW’s wrestlers in 1994.

1. The Royal Family vs. Clowns’R’Us - Survivor Series 1994

Granted, this was supposed to be a comedy match from the beginning, so any rules and stipulations weren’t meant to make it a serious contest. But comedy is subjective more often than not, and this attempt at comedy certainly didn’t make people laugh.

There was one important rule going into this match: the little people could on wrestle each other and the Doink & Lawler could only wrestle each other. If either 'tall wrestler' was eliminated, the other could do nothing else. That didn’t stop Lawler from breaking the rules and participating without getting punished by the referee.

Aside from that glaring error, the comedy segments in this comedy match simply weren’t funny. The midget wrestlers running over Jerry Lawler wasn’t funny. Lawler’s teammates running over him wasn’t funny. Doink putting a Burger King crown on Lawler’s head wasn’t funny. It seemed that the only person that actually thought this was funny was Vince McMahon.

This could’ve been salvageable if the dwarf wrestlers used here were Mexican minis like El Torito, i.e. ones that actually knew how to wrestle. Sadly, none of the six dwarf wrestlers here fit that description, and instead did bad slapstick comedy that was more embarrassing than it was funny.

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Edited by Riju Dasgupta
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