The Usos: Face Paint
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Ok, look, I get what they were going for, but this is a terrible t-shirt. The base color is black, which is my preferred color despite being a fat sweaty guy that goes outside sometimes, so that’s fine, but everything else is either obnoxious or confusing. Pink and green go very well together and Orange and blue is a bonafide classic pairing, but all of them together? No way, Usos.
You start putting together more than 3 different colors and you’re just asking for a phone call from John Cena locked in his million dollar bathroom while freaking out about the “face paint that runs the place” or something. I don’t know. It’s too much. And their face paint should probably be retired now that Finn Bálor is bringing it.
Meet John Cena's dad HERE
But the colors aren’t even the main problem. What really ruins this shirt is the fact that apparently, The Uso Bros don’t know what sport they play professionally. “Play Hard In The Paint” isn’t a wrestling term, it’s a basketball term. It refers to the painted floor in front of the hoop where players get aggressively more pushy, historically. A wrestling mat doesn’t have paint unless someone just DDTed Goldust on it, and even then it’s a stretch.
Are they referring to their predilection to jumping like their basketball heroes? I hope not, they aren’t even the 9th and 10th best leaping guys in the company. The barely clear the ropes and I usually cringe from fear. And remember, just because I’m not a huge Uso fan that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t wear a shirt of theirs if it looked good on me. It’s just that this shirt wouldn’t look good on anybody.
Cracker Rating: 1/8th Of A Deflated Basketball
