My Rating
If you have a particularly short commute on public transportation, or if you lost your fantasy football league and have to provide your own punishment, this entire match is available in the link above. All eight minutes feature some of the most halfhearted wrestling, sub-Tommy Wiseau acting, and juvenile commentary by paid broadcasters you'll find anywhere. It's dreadful.
The match itself wouldn't be awful on its own; it's a standard Russo match where the story is king, and all that matters is getting to the finisher and getting there fast. What sends this match on the fast-track to the garbage dump is the commentary.
Did you know that this match stipulation is unusual? And that the medication named in its title is prescribed for matters concerning very intimate difficulties? The commentators do, and it's all anyone not named Schiavone can talk about. The biting comments about the "prolific history" of this match stipulation might have garnered a chuckle at first, but by the sixth time a Hall of Famer is purported to have competed in such a contest it's the worst kind of ear poison.
What's worse is that the broadcast team can't decide if it's taking its own product seriously. The constant ham-fisted innuendo and snarky insults are almost daring the audience to find any enjoyment in this multimillion-dollar production.
Because of this commentary, I feel like any integer amount given to this match is too high, so thanks to the shortness of the match and abruptness of the finish bringing that commentary to its blessed end, I'll go 0.5/10.
Meltzer Says
I can't, for the life of me, find a Meltzer rating for this hot pile of awful. He's too important to have to watch this one more than once. Excuse me while I look in the mirror and weep.