Gimmick Some (Wrestlemania) Lovin': Sting is Back

The Match

This wouldn't be the only time that sunlight would make a great image slightly less awesome at this Wrestlemania.

For starters, calling this one a "match" is a bit of a misnomer; it more closely resembles a Hall of Fame retrospective segment letting the company get as many legendary performers onto the Wrestlemania broadcast as possible, and does so despite any logic, internal or otherwise (but more on that later).

Second, this match was hampered in the entrances by occurring in broad daylight on a sunny California afternoon; when Wrestlemania is outdoors and some of your biggest attractions' entrances (namely, the two performers in this match and, later on the card, The Undertaker and Bray Wyatt) rely on darkness as an enhancement for their theatricality, the fact that the sun doesn't go down in this show until the main event has already begun is a pretty big drawback (and there's barely even full darkness when Seth Rollins hoists the WWE World Heavyweight Championship to close the show).

The crowd gives this match a very low bar to clear at the start; like with the debuting Shinsuke Nakamura a year later at NXT Takeover: Dallas, the mere presence of Sting in a WWE ring is enough to start the "This is awesome!" chants. A flurry of what seems like very basic manoeuvres later, the crowd lets Stinger know, "You still got it!"

Pictured: the WWE Universe's definition of still having "it".

The match from there swings in and out of distinct phases where Helmsley is on the plodding offensive, mostly with punches and rest holds, interspersed with hope spots for the Stinger to massive cheers and crowd participation (the way the crowd leaps to answer Sting's "WOOOOO!" with calls of their own is impressive).

Sting no-sells some classic Triple H offense like the facebreaker knee smash, and begins to take advantage with his first Scorpion Deathlock attempt when a familiar series of chords hits and D-Generation X members X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws jog down the ramp to ringside.

[David Attenborough voice] Without the aid of a tank, the New York degenerate is defenceless against the Atlanta scorpion.

Sting handily dispatches the degenerates, hitting a plancha from the top turnbuckle to ringside on all four men, before Helmsley manages to take control inside the ring. Just as it looks like Sting is going to fall to the WWE's front office team, another familiar guitar chord rings out, one which used to signal trouble for WCW's icon(s).

Let's pause for a moment to talk about the logic of this choice. During the build to this contest, Helmsley had constantly reiterated that this was about proving the superiority of the WWF/E once and for all, and squashing the last remnants of the Monday Night Wars under his boots (and sledghammers). Meanwhile, once he took microphone in hand, Sting emphasized that this feud was not about Nitro, World Championship Wrestling, or the Monday Night Wars.

Instead, in Sting's mind, this was about correcting the misdeeds of one Paul Levesque during the 14 years Sting refused to sign with McMahon. In his mind, Triple H was guilty of any number of crimes of politicking, backstabbing, manipulation, and general Machiavellian backstage control of the company even before ascending to his official corporate role.

Sting's pull-back-the-curtain promos attempted to swing this match away from the "WCW vs. WWF/E" perception and into something more relevant to modern fans (which was lost on the announcers, who yammered on and on about World Championship Wrestling for this entire segment).

No three men on the planet are better suited than these to help lead a crusade against performers exerting too much backstage influence

Returning to the match, this backstory was one of a myriad reasons why it was confusing that, of all people, the New World Order's theme hit, and the living embodiments of politicking, manipulation, and backstabbing strolled into Levi's Stadium in the form of Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Hulk Hogan.

Despite Sting's promos about this not being about WCW vs. WWF/E, the only justification for the NWO to intervene is the fact that the NWO was synonymous with WCW (despite the fact that these three men were lambasted throughout the Attitude Era for being former WWF guys and also had long, semi-successful WWE runs after the buyout, and the fact that all three men and X-Pac had been an NWO member in two different companies and now I'm giving myself a headache).

Anyhow, the NWO makes Goldberg's Wrestlemania 33 entrance look swift before engaging in battle with D-Generation X, as Sting builds toward a loooooooong Scorpion Deathlock, which is broken up by a Shawn Michaels superkick (who was sporting a DX shirt but had also been an NWO member and who was close friends with 2/3 of the NWO invaders and there's that logic headache again).

Oddly, this isn't Shawn's greatest crime against that particular hold.

Triple H takes advantage with a Pedigree for two, and manages to get the sledgehammer, to which Sting responds by accepting a baseball bat dramatically offered to him by Hogan (who...never mind, this is just another headache). Sting uses the bat to snap the definitely-not-fake sledgehammer handle in half, then attempts a series of Stinger Splashes to Helmsley in the corner.

In between splashes, Triple H grabs the half of the hammer with the head still attached with the subtlety of a toddler sneaking a cookie, and decks Sting with it before collapsing on top of him for the three count.