Gimmick Some (Wrestlemania) Lovin': The Extreme Return Edition

If this moment didn't give you chills, I would love to know what you keep in the spot where your soul should be.

The Match

Okay, so, this match can't be covered without acknowledging the fact that the best part happens before the bell even rings. That's nothing against what any of the eight men involved accomplished that night, but there's something truly magical in the surprise re-debut of Team Xtreme.

The Hardyz' entrance is preceded by Enzo and Cass's first Wrestlemania entrance (sidenote: how odd is it, in the wake of Enzo's allegations and Cass's disappearance is it to hear a stadium sing along to their opening spiel), The Bar's premiere of their matching-jackets-and-kilts tandem entrance (and one of the best uses of the handheld camera ever, as we are positioned behind the European pair to glimpse the Mania crowd and fireworks from the stage), and The Club looking like a surly, sleeveless biker and the head elf from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer if he got really into Black Sabbath.

A promo package highlighting the tag-team chicanery of the previous weeks' RAWs ends with Wrestlemania 33 hosts The New Day (in ring gear) announcing that the match would no longer be a triple threat, and had been upgraded to a Fatal Four Way as they advanced, menacingly, toward the ring; it would make perfect sense, based on the previous autumn's tag team stories and the sensibilities of the three men's characters, that they would be inserting themselves into the contest.

The only Enzo image I'm willing to show, only because his face is all of our faces when that bass line played.

A small "DELETE!" chant would show that the Internet Wrestling Community had its suspicions as to the new additions, but the utter shock that came with 1999's favorite drum-and-bass-line revealed that shock and spectacle still followed the winners of the first tag team ladder match in company history.

The entrances take ten minutes, leaving only 13 for the match itself, and it gets started quick; a dual Poetry in Motion to both members of The Club is followed by a tandem flippy thing maneuver (technical term, of course), then a double suplex to Cass and a Whisper in the Wind to The Bar. At that moment, it seemed the brothers Hardy had returned for the nostalgia pop and their Greatest Hits moves, as the spotlight shifts to the original three teams booked for the contest.

Part of me wants to be frustrated that old-timers are getting the spotlight over superstars building impressive resumes, but the rest of me loves this flippy nonsense.

Cesaro nails an impressive double stomp from Gallows' shoulders onto Anderson, and Sheamus would then fireman's carry Gallows into a rolling senton onto Gallows's partner. A melee, again, ensues, and lots more hardware (or plunder, if you're Dusty Rhodes) comes into the match. Ladders are balanced between the ring and the barricade, then forgotten about, then Sheamus and Cesaro exact revenge for their lost titles with an extremely fun count-along sequence where Cesaro Big Swings Anderson as Sheamus applies dozens of Beats of the Bodhran to Gallows.

The crowd literally loses count. That's how many sledgehammer forearms Gallows takes (and how many revolutions Anderson makes).

Nothing about this match makes linear sense, but all of it is entertaining; a series of fun dives to groups of superstars on the outside (a modern multi-man ladder match staple) lets the ring slowly clear out via finishers depositing men on the outside. Sheamus and Cesaro would end up on those forgotten ladder bridges as The Broken One takes Anderson off the top of the ladder below the championships with a Twist of Fate, allowing the younger Hardy to deliver his trademark Swanton off the top of another ladder, to the delight of all of Orlando.

This, of course, closes out the match, as Matt re-ascends the in-ring ladder to fumblingly grab the titles (WWE must not have had time to let the pair in on their new hanger setup for ladder matches, which takes away a lot of that "undoing the snaps" frustration at the end of these types of contests), the first changing of a tag team title since another Hardyz contest at Wrestlemania X7.