Tonight, Brian Cage and Melissa Santos took the next step in their lives. Luckily for them, weddings never end badly when it comes to wrestling. Right?
Throughout the night, IMPACT fans were treated to special interviews and behind the scenes discussions at the wedding, all the while getting their weekly dose of action in the ring. This week's show kicked off with what seemed to be LAX, who had officially left the company as of last week.
LAX's music hit to kick off the show, and though the fans were initially excited to see the four-time tag team champions make a surprise appearance, they were immediately deflated once they realized it was the North rocking LAX gear with their titles around their necks.
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Ethan Page and Josh Alexander insulted the crowd for cheering someone dressed like "losers." Alexander tore into LAX and the rest of the tag division, claiming that they were all beneath the North. Forget trying to break the record for most title reigns. The IMPACT Tag Team Champions are going for the long haul, as they'll never lose their belts.
Page promised that LAX would never return to IMPACT, regardless of what power Konnan has in the streets or the company. At this point, Konnan walked out, ready to make a surprise announcement.
Alexander and Page taunted Konnan for the loss of his boys, but when Konnan fired back, the North took it personally, specifically Josh Alexander. Page said that it doesn't matter who he brings out, because they've already beaten them. Daga? Beat him. LAX? Threw them out of the company.
Konnan's surprise instantly electrified the arena, revealing that it would be Rob Van Dam and Rhino who would send the champs packing tonight.
The North vs Rob Van Dam & Rhino w/Konnan
Back from commercial, Josh Alexander was battering Rob Van Dam in the corner. However, Mr. Friday Nights responded with a monkey flip followed by a Rolling Thunder. Rhino tagged in, but wasn't able to keep Alexander from escaping to his corner. Page entered the ring where he was pummelled into the mat by the War Machine.
A shoulder tackle from Rhino set Van Dam up for a spinning leg drop and a two-count. Page was pelted by punches on the ropes. However, he managed to send Van Dam across the ring where Alexander was waiting, catching him with a knee in the back. This allowed Page to get back in control and tag Alexander in.
A floatover from a suplex earned Alexander a two-count. Alexander distracted the ref while Page choked out Van Dam on the apron. Page tagged back in and Van Dam was met with a knee shot/shoulder block combo, sending him down to the mat. He followed up with knees and boots to the face and choked him out on the second rope.
Van Dam broke away from Page with a punching combination and a high kick to the bridge of the nose, leaving him just shy of his partner. Alexander and Rhyno tagged in, with the latter mauling Alexander. Page was sent into Alexander in the corner and pushed out into a clothesline. He set up for the Gore on Alexander, but the ref was distracted, allowing Page to connect with a superkick. Van Dam broke up a pinfall attempt and took Page out to ringside.
The ref and Konnan checked on Page and Van Dam, leading Alexander to roll out for the title belt. Konnan held onto it, allowing Rhyno to recover and cut him in half with the Gore. Van Dam followed that with the Five-Star Frog Splash, putting away the IMPACT Tag Team Champions.
Results: Rhyno and Rob Van Dam w/Konnan defeated The North via pinfall.
Backstage, Gama Singh was berating the Desi Hit Squad for getting squashed by the Deaners, which is why he brought back Mahabali Shera. Shera is here to pick up the slack, but the Squad had better start delivering results, or they'll be replaced.
We saw some live footage of the pre-party for tonight's wedding, with Eddie Edwards being interviewed. Reno Scum, at some point, slipped something into his drink before walking off.
Mahabali Shera w/The Desi Hit Squad & Gama vs Cousin Jake w/Cody Deaner
Shera drove Jake into the corner, crushing his ribs with shoulder tackles. Jake responded with some strong right hands and a clothesline that nearly knocked Shera on his back. Rohit Raju distracted him, allowing Shera to respond with a clothesline of his own, bowling over Jake.
Jake was picked up to his feet and tried to fight back against the powerful new member of the Desi Hit Squad, but Shera shook off any punches thrown, knocking Jake back to the ground.
Thanks to a distraction by Cody Deaner, he got a little bit of offense in. However, a sky-high sit-out spinebuster and a falling forward powerslam ended Cousin Jake's night.
Results: Mahabali Shera defeated Cousin Jake via pinfall.
Cody Deaner tried to fight back against Shera but was yanked out of the ring by the Desi Hit Squad, who assaulted him before sending him back into Shera. Another powerslam left Deaner squashed on the mat.
TJP and Fallah Bahh were interviewed at the wedding pre-party. It seems like the former X-Division Champion is still trying to get Bahh out of his rut. He's doing a great job, as Bahh managed to say a few sentences before reverting back to "Bahh, Bahh, Bahh!"
Eddie Edwards stumbled into the frame, clearly either drunk or, more likely, drugged from whatever Ren Scum put in his drink earlier.
Madison Rayne vs Tenille Dashwood
Dashwood and Rayne jockeyed for position early on with both competitors working wrist locks. Rayne was sent onto her backside but responded with a shoulder tackle. However, Dashwood tripped her up before she went to the ropes, allowing her to pick up an early near fall.
Rayne rolled outside and grabbed Dashwood's leg as she tried to kick the Queen Bee through the ropes. Dashwood responded with a knee and spiked her face off the apron with her legs. Rayne tried to prevent her from getting back inside the ring, but was met with another knee and dropped on the second rope with a neckbreaker.
Dashwood rushed in for the running body splash but was shoved into the bottom turnbuckle face first. A backstabber gave her a near fall. Dashwood was then held in a cravate position while Rayne delivered a flurry of knees to the head. A snapmare set up a sliding clothesline, getting another two-count.
Dashwood tried to roll-up Rayne, but the former champion immediately broke out and took her to the ground with a clothesline. Dashwood escaped a rear chin lock only to be planted with a ripcord cutter. Another kick-out at two.
Rayne shot Dashwood into the ropes, but Dashwood held on and connected with a boot to the jaw and a lariat. Rayne escaped a double underhook and pelted Dashwood with an enziguri. A northern lights suplex gave her yet another near fall. Dodging the Spotlight boot, Rayne attempted a German suplex. Dashwood blocked it, then blocked a CrossRayne attempt, and finally put away Rayne with the Spotlight.
Results: Tenille Dashwood defeated Madison Rayne via pinfall.
Back at the wedding, Rob Van Dam and Katie Forbes were asked if they were next. Luckily for RVD, Willie Mack and Rich Swann interrupted the interview, asking if he and Rhino wanted a shot at the titles...after they won them, of course. Van Dam said not to worry, Mack & Swann could face him and Rhino after THEY won the IMPACT Tag Team Titles.
Following her victory over Madison Rayne, Tenille Dashwood was officially given a shot at Taya Valkyrie's Knockouts Championship. The two will face off at Bound for Glory in just a few weeks.
After over a decade away from the company, Ken Shamrock returned to IMPACT Wrestling. The World's Most Dangerous Man was still in great shape. Taking a quick stroll down memory lane, he remembered how it felt to hold the IMPACT World Championship back in 2002 and thanked the fans for giving him a chance to return.
Shamrock then got down to business, talking about how Moose interrupted his discussions with IMPACT World Champion Brian Cage on Twitter. Shamrock looked up some of Moose's accomplishments, coming to find that in the land of Impact Wrestling, there wasn't much to be seen. He said that after all the trash talk and all of the insults he threw at the men he respected in this business, he's here to put him in an early grave.
However, Moose wasn't at the arena. Instead, he was at Ken Shamrock's home turf, Syndicate MMA. He assaulted several fighters some security, and shoved one of the competitor's faces into the cage of the octagon.
Taya Valkyrie met Rosemary backstage to ask the Demon Assassin to "dispose" of her new No. 1 contender, Tenille Dashwood. Rosemary denied, claiming that Valkyrie had gone soft, looking for an easy out. The respect she had for the champion in the past is gone.
Valkyrie didn't take the hint, though, and gave Rosemary a dress for the wedding later tonight, excited to be matching with her bestie. Speaking of which, all four members of oVe attempted to break through security to enter the wedding. However, they were held at the door and told they weren't welcome. Sami Callihan and the rest of the crew left with wedding gifts in hand.
Tommy Dreamer gave Brian Cage a pep talk, attempting to help shake his cold feet. Luckily, his brother Ryan Cage came in to ease the tension. We cut to the bridal party Taya Valkyrie was looking for some help in dealing with Tenille Dashwood.
X-Division Ladder Match Qualifier: Dave Crist w/Jake Crist & Madman Fulton vs Tessa Blanchard
Dave tried to attack Blanchard mid entrance, but the Undeniable One countered with a series of right hands, leaving the oVe member down on the mat. Back to his feet, Dave blocked an attack coming off the ropes, battering Blanchard with some punches of his own. However, Blanchard sent him over the top ropes with a back body drop.
Blanchard slid into Fulton with a baseball slide, forcing the monster to wrap his hands around her neck. Jake Crist yanked him off, though, trying to prevent a disqualification. This saved the match, but Kid Ref sent Fulton to the back. Dave tried to chop Blanchard by the ring post only to miss and bounce his hand off the steel.
Back inside, Jake held onto Blanchard's feet, allowing Dave to clothesline her into the ropes. From here, he began choking out the former Knockouts Champion. When Blanchard began building a comeback, he gouged her eyes and delivered some stiff shots to the back of her head. The ref tried to yank him off, but as Dave distracted him, Jake choked out Blanchard.
Just like oVe member Sami Callihan, Dave Crist summoned a massive loogie and spat it in the face of his opponent. Blanchard was furious, pelting him with elbow strikes to the face and sending him into the ropes for a kick to the jaw. Though she missed a top rope Magnum, she caught him in a sunset flip. Dave kicked out and connected with a fireman's carry spinout facebuster to the knee. Blanchard kicked out, leaving Dave screaming.
Another Magnum failed, with Dave holding onto the ropes. However, he couldn't escape the Buzzsaw DDT, which sent Blanchard to the X-Division Ladder Match.
Results: Tessa Blanchard defeated Dave Crist via pinfall.
Jake attempted to attack Blanchard after the match but was quickly dealt with by Blanchard. Sadly for her, Madman Fulton rushed the ring, bouncing her off the ring with two sky-high chokeslams.
Alisha Edwards was searching for Eddie Edwards backstage, who hadn't been seen since he stumbled into TJP and Bahh. Ace Austin popped up, taking Eddie's spot next to her in the wedding.
The Rascalz were seen in attendance trying not to cough during the ceremony. The Deaners tried to hit on Havok, and Rosemary teleported into a chair next to Fallah Bahh. Bahh tried to run away, but TJP held him in his seat. Valkyrie demanded to know where the dress she got for her was, with Rosemary saying that she was lucky she even showed up at all.
Tommy Dreamer walked Melissa Santos down the aisle, making some hilarious remarks about each of the guests...that we can't repeat here.
Brian Cage and Melissa Santos' ceremony was led by the champion's brother Ryan, but everything was interrupted when the Knockouts Champion butted in to make sure everyone knew she wasn't responsible for the wedding.
Ryan Cage asked if anybody else had any real objections, leading Ethan Page trying to start a Wrestler's Union. Josh Alexander tried to pull him down to his seat, but Page claimed that this was something everyone needed to hear. Eddie Edwards then stumbled into the ceremony and threw up on Ryan. Ace Austin tried to send Edwards out, but the Hardcore Hero threw a punch, missing Austin and knocking Ryan out cold.
Dreamer demanded that they find a shaman, a priest, a rabbi, a minister, someone that could officiate the wedding. Lucky for him, and the wedding party, the Sinister Minister himself James Mitchell appeared. From here on out, things went...well enough. Mitchell was happy to perform with the powers vested in him by Satan and the State of Nevada, and finally wed Cage and Santos.
The reception was moved to a live venue, taking place in the ring. The wedding party and rest of the wrestling roster, minus oVe, filled in ringside. Mr. & Mrs. Brian Cage were officially introduced to the Vegas crowd. During the first dance, however, they were interrupted by Sami Callihan.
The Draw claimed that he wasn't here to fight as he got in the ring, bottle in hand. The #1 contender said he was happy for Brian & Melissa, but was hurt because they weren't allowed in for the wedding. Callihan brought up their past, revealing that they all used to be very close friends.
He then gave a toast to the bride and the b****, and when Cage put his hand on his challenger, Callihan slung the bottle in the Machine's direction. Tragically, Cage's natural instincts led him to duck the attack, causing Melissa Santos to take the hit instead.