My favourite WWE wrestler changes on a daily basis. Yesterday, it was Kevin Owens, and today it’s Nikki Cross. There are mainstays like Cesaro, Sami Zayn and Daniel Bryan. There are last generation’s top shelf wrestlers who I look back on fondly, like Stone Cold Steve Austin and Mankind and The Hurricane. There was a stretch in the 90s where I mirrored my life to Billy Gunn’s, and last week I wore an Asuka wig to a dive bar. I change my mind a lot, is what I'm saying, and I make no apologies.
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But if you held a gun to my head and told me I had to pick just one favourite wrestler of all time, it’d be hard for me to answer with anyone other than Kurt Angle. Angle was wholly original, had the pedigree, and worked the heel side so well, so quickly and for such a solid run. He’s almost impossible to argue against. He’s also got comedic timing you can’t teach.
Also read: Kurt Angle set to replace Mick Foley as RAW General Manager
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I’m pretty excited about him coming back to WWE, in any role. He’ll shine wherever he ends up, assuming he does at all. It could be he gets inducted into the Hall Of Fame and is featured in future video games, and that’s it, but I doubt it. The man is too talented to waste.
Angle hasn’t wrestled (in WWE) in a long time. Like, it’s been over a decade. A lot has changed, but not just in the WWE. The whole world looked a lot different last time Kurt “YOU SUCK” Angle stepped into a WWE ring. Let us travel back and see what it was like…
In the wrestling world
WWE was basically John Cena and Edge passing the World Championship back and forth.
Kurt hadn’t held the belt in 3 years.
John Hennigan was Johnny Nitro and held the Intercontinental Championship before he was John Morrison or Johnny Mundo.
The Impact World Wrestling Championship belt did not exist.
Bam Bam Bigelow, The Fabulous Moolah, Mike Awesome, and Nancy Benoit were still alive.
Samoa Joe was a star in Ring of Honor.
CM Punk debuted in WWE.
Juventud Guerrera and Psicosis were probably doing illegal substances.
So was RVD.
In the rest of the world
Saddam Hussein was alive.
There were like, 30 million fewer people in the United States, alone. That's too many. Stop it.
President Bush was saying “Nuh uh!” to stem cell research.
Steve Irwin was filming the documentary Ocean’s Deadliest. That did not last long.
Pittsburgh, St. Louis, and Italy were doing some good sports.
Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie were being arrested for being themselves. Rightfully.
A small group of jerks were deciding for the rest of us that Pluto was no longer a planet. This was the birth of alternative facts.
Boris Yeltsin introduced the world to a young whippersnapper named Vladimir Putin.
Anna Nicole-Smith was working on her tan in the Bahamas.
On TV
Veronica Mars was adorably solving mysteries in Neptune. California.
Heroes were saving cheerleaders.
Jericho debuted. Not the wrestler, the CBS post-apocalyptic drama starring bargain bin Johnny Depp, Skeet Ulrich.
The Sopranos, Gilmore Girls and Pimp My Ride were all winding down.
American Idol and Dancing With The Stars ran the ratings boards because most people have garbage taste.
John Stewart ran The Daily Show, and Stephen Colbert was a Republican.
Bam Margera was getting married over the course of an entire season of television.
Arrested Development ended it’s too short run on regular TV
Lost was still confusing and Deadwood was criminally under watched.
Netflix was only good for getting DVDs in the mail. HA!
Hulu didn’t even exist.
People were breaking up with Shannen Doherty on Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty, and Ice-T was running some sort of rapping school.
In music
High School Musical and Nickleback were topping the charts, Rick Ross and the Jonas Brothers released debut albums, and Warrant was still around, but Jani Lane was not singing for them. It was obviously a dark time in mainstream music, so here’s what I was listening to:
Sacrament by Lamb Of God
Audition by P.O.S.
The Hardest Way To Make An Easy Living by The Streets
Wolves In Wolves’ Clothing by NOFX
Peeping Tom by Peeping Tom
The Bronx II by The Bronx
but mostly 311
At the movies
John Cena was breaking in The Miz’s acting roles.
There were snakes loose on planes and ladies stuck in the water.
People still liked Mel Gibson, for the most part.
Beerfest documented the perils of competitive drinking.
American audiences were introduced to Kazakhstani heartthrob, Borat. MY WIFE!
A folk band named The Devil Wears Prada released what I can only assume was a concert film.
Marky Mark was Invincible.
The Mission: Impossible movies were still being named with numbers and Star Wars was still just a thing that George Lucas messed up.
Tom Cruise went creepin’ at the creek and married Katie Holmes and made a Suri.
Larry The Cable Guy was inspecting health.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre legacy was being spat on.
Ben Stiller was having sleepovers in museums.
Grandma’s Boy was awarded Movie Of The Year by me.
And that's everything! Things sure have changed since Kurt Angle wrestled under WWE. To be fair, a lot’s changed since Asuka won the NXT Women’s Championship, but, you know..
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