Satire: Predicting the lowest paid WWE Superstars of 2017

#6 Bobby Roode

Man, that looks like it SMELLS expensive

Have you ever hired a professional pianist?

They charge for the piano, too! Roode, never one to shy away from grandioseness, hired TWO for his Takeover: Dallas entrance, and INVENTED A GIANT, INVISIBLE ROBOT for his Chicago one. Also, his robe is made of liquid diamonds. Dude might be the brokest of all time. Sorry, Flair.

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#7 Rhyno and Heath

They shot this scene 376 times. Each take, Rhyno needed his plate refilled.

Heath’s got like 14 kids. One kid is expensive, let alone a fortnight’s worth of them. And while Rhyno’s only real expense, after running for office, is spray cheese and crackers, it’s worth noting that the sheer volume he consumes is measured in tonnes.

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#8 New Day

They went through 3 Flux Capacitors before they got it to work

The New Day is practically penniless, as of this writing, but they go by the old adage “Ya gotta spend money to make money.” So they dumped all their money right back into their brand, venturing into summer treats, breakfast cereal, and time machines.

Once these products are released to the general public, I think we’ll see New Day at the top of the “Most Richest” list.