Satire: Things you can do during a Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar match, and things you can't

Time is a flat Lesnar.

#5 Literally everything else

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I’ve already named everything you can do during a Brock Lesnar vs Goldberg match, and the list is not long for a reason. There are only three things in the world that take less time than a Survivor Series main event. That leaves room for lady wrestling toy activities and EVERYTHING ELSE.

The list goes on for a legendary 36 things, but no one has time for that so I’ll just name some of my favourite things that take longer than a minute and a half.

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-Watch Breakfast At Tiffany’s. -Pack a Go-Bag for the inevitable robot uprising.-Go to the comic book shoppe.-Write this article.-Watch nineteen 5 Second Films movies.-Listen to that Art of Wrestling podcast with CM Punk.-Draw up mock plans for an ice cream truck heist.-Do the Energy section of DDP Yoga on the DVD.-Listen to all of 311's “Come Original.”

You can find your own things to do, or borrow mine, I don’t care. The sun’s coming up and I haven’t eaten yet, so I’m gonna go to IHOP and get some breakfast.

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