Naomi, attempt three
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Naomi tells her husband and Natalya that after 2 years, creative finally got back to her about her Glowntrance (glowing entrance). That seems about right. 2 years late on talent, 12 years late on pop culture references. Wrestling math.
But the problem with the Glowntrance is all the lights in the arena would have to be turned off like Undertaker and Bray do. Natalya, being the warm hearted vet that she is, tells Naomi that she’s not "main event" enough to have that done for her. This is all going swimmingly for Naomi, so far.
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Meanwhile, Maryse and Eva, in preparation for their Baywatch photo shoot, go to some sort of spa. At this spa, they are beaten with cacti, wrapped in plastic, and then cooked. Eva wants to die, Maryse continues to be French about it.
Renee and Dean are in Lake Tahoe for a little vacation together. Here, they learn that their dog, Blue, is terrified of mini-rocking chair pigs. I find this fascinating because this wooden pig looks just like Blue. Also, “Blue” is a great name. It’s like a cooler “Eeyore.”
I would spend everyday walking around the house yelling “YOU’RE MY BOY, BLUE!” and everyone would be amused. Renne calls Nikki Bella and Nikki Bella-splains how to dress sexy without looking like you’re trying to dress sexy.
This would be like if Mojo Rawley were to explain Swiss-German to Cesaro. Also, Renee wanted to cook for Dean on their romantic getaway, but Dean ordered a pizza. If these kids can’t learn to communicate more efficiently, I’m not sure she’ll ever get him to pop the question.
Back at Naomi’s place (maybe? I don’t know they haven’t spent much time on her during this episode that is named after her catchphrase), she’s trying to figure out how glow-in-the-dark clothing and accessories work, with the help of her husband, Jon. Jon is rarely any help, but almost always smiling. He’s the Apollo Crews of this relationship.
Also, Brie is mad because there is no internet in her hotel room, and she needs it for a conference call with her agents and sister. Her husband, Daniel Bryan tries to help by making jokes about porn. Bryan is rarely any help, but almost always joking about porn.
He’s the Daniel Bryan of this relationship. This does not please Nikki because she thinks Brie is spending time with Bryan on the road instead of taking conference calls. She then, in an attempt to get Brie to prioritise her career and concentrate on stuff not involving her husband, asks “Didn’t you retire?” and my brain snapped in half like Sid Vicious’s leg.
