Total Divas ep. 614: Dove and marriage

The devil’s takin’ names.

This looks more like a ritual sacrifice than a Bulgarian bridal tradition.

The tradition turns out to be the gentlest waterboarding and Lana is super bummed out. Probably because Rusev has a smirk on his face the whole time like he just pulled a mediocre prank. The Devilock Guy (his name is Jody, which is amazing) is all “Just do it; it’s tradition!” from the nosebleed section because you should always listen to the guy with the satanic hair in a church who yells at women.

Thankfully, Nattie shows up with Trinity and Mr Trinity to help calm Lana down, but they are also immediately thrown into another tradition that no one, including Rusev, really understands. This leads to another fight, the night before the wedding, at dinner with friends, and now I hope they do get divorced.

Rusev: You hate Bulgaria and traditions and my family!Lana: You don’t respect me!Rusev: My best man is my friend, and he is in total control of our marriage!Lana: I’m leaving all the countries!Rusev: Me, too!

Nattie convinces Lana to yell “Surrender!” off of her balcony, and somehow that fixes everything. I wouldn't buy it unless Cheap Trick were there. Cheap Trick solves all problems.