There has been a plenitude of debate about why WrestleMania 33 feels ho-hum. Some people blame the dubious matchmaking while others believe the lacklustre buildup is responsible for the lack of excitement. While both points are valid, they are not the reasons I am underwhelmed. The reasons I am is because of unneeded projected length and the total lack of continuity.
Including the pre-show, WrestleMania 33 is supposed to be 6.5 hours long. That is 2.5 hours longer than the average night of sleep for Vince McMahon. Double the length of Monday Night Raw and longer than a week of Raw, SmackDown, and 205 Live combined. Even NJPW thinks that is too long.
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However, unlike WWE, NJPW gives its fans long matches. Their important matches tend to break the 30-minute barrier, and they sometimes go 45 or even an hour. WWE is set on making their top matches go about 20 minutes, which is less time than a sitcom on TV. When you think of the most historic matches, few go 20 minutes. It is tough to be able to have a classic match in that span of time, as it is not long enough to construct an epic journey.
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Instead of long 45 minute matches, WrestleMania 33 will consist of an excessive amount of short to medium length matches. This means that matches like Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho, a match that has been building for six months or so and will likely get the crowd invested into the action, will be cut short for because ice cold feuds, which will probably bore the crowd, like Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose need time as well. That is not even taking into account the number of skits and segments that will occur in order to waste time.
It makes no sense as to why WWE feels the need to make WrestleMania (or their other PPVs) this long. It is another way WWE oversaturates its product, and oversaturation typically leads to an overindulged and burnt-out market in lieu of one that comes back wanting more.
It is not as if WrestleMania is the culmination of WWE’s season because time in WWE never ends. The ball keeps on rolling. There will be two PPVs within a month or so after WrestleMania – not to mention 8 or so Raw and SmackDown TV shows; ergo, from a business perspective, it would make more sense preserving matchups and stories for a later time and date so that there is enough content to keep consumers hooked to the product.
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Besides, WrestleMania is perceived as the Superbowl of wrestling. The Superbowl, however, is the final showdown between the two best teams. WrestleMania doesn’t feel like the NFL playoffs because there are a number of wrestlers who are on the show despite having a subpar or mediocre year.
I mean, Bray Wyatt is theoretically in the second most important match in spite of accomplishing little to nothing since WrestleMania 32 (or even WrestleMania 31, for that matter). He has lost nearly every feud he has been in, besides defeating a concussed Randy Orton once on a forgettable October PPV. Sure, he won the WWE Championship in an Elimination Chamber match, but it is not as if he earned his way into that match at all.
Goldberg received a title match simply because he defeated Brock Lesnar in a match that didn’t even happen in 2017. He also won the title thanks to Chris Jericho distracting Kevin Owens and, despite that, he did not even have to defend the title against someone who had a fair chance to beat him. And what did Brock Lesnar exactly do to earn his title opportunity? He lost to Goldberg in seconds and got eliminated in the Rumble by Goldberg in seconds. He has not been a champion since WrestleMania 31, either.
Meanwhile, AJ Styles is facing an over-the-hill, never-really-a-wrestler-to-begin-with authority member in spite of defeating John Cena clean at Summerslam, winning the title a month later against Dean Ambrose, and being one of the most impressive WWE champions in recent memory.
The Miz, the hottest heel act who single-handily made the IC title precious again, is in an intergender match which is basically a facade designed to allow John Cena to propose to Nikki Bella at WrestleMania. This is, of course, in spite of Miz and Daniel Bryan having one of the most intense, authentic, and heated feuds in recent memory.
The fact that WWE will not allow Bryan to wrestle one match is absurd. The fact that they dropped this feud is even more ridiculous considering Bryan could have handpicked someone to wrestle for him in a match with a fascinating stipulation.
Then there is Braun Strowman, the most dominant, improved, and best-booked wrestler of 2016, who became another victim of WWE’s nepotism over best for business ideology and thus will be in the futile Andre the Giant Battle Royale. Lest we forget, the three winners of the Andre Battle Royale have all arguably descended after winning it.
Strowman was undefeated on Raw throughout 2016, crushing and obliterating his opponents left and right, only to be fed to Roman Reigns so that Reigns could have momentum heading into his match against The Undertaker. Strowman’s winning streak ended anticlimactically, as he did not even reach his highest potential level with it, and the decision was ultimately wasteful, as someone defeating a more prepared Strowman could have actually meant something. This all means that months of dominance and carnage were all practically moot.
Lastly, there is the Raw’s women’s match. This match is a mixture of bad continuity as well as WWE crowbarring everyone onto the card. In all honesty, the story wrote itself. It was almost impossible to screw up, yet somehow WWE found a way. Bayley defeats Charlotte at Fastlane via Sasha Banks interference, saving the Stephanie McMahon and Bayley “tainted” victory segment for after the event.
The righteous Bayley relinquishes her title, giving it back to Charlotte to prove once and for all she can defeat her without any help at the grandest stage of them all, setting up the final, feel-good moment where Bayley ends Charlotte’s undefeated PPV streak in an unquestionable manner.
In addition to the projected overwhelming length of WrestleMania, the fact that the entire show, with the exception of a few matches, has rendered months of stories and wrestler’s momentum has made this event feel less special. “The Ultimate Thrill Ride” feels more like the ultimate chore than a pleasure at this point, a show that is put together in a cursory manner and has unmistakably detached itself from a number of things that were transpiring and brewing since the day after Summerslam.
WrestleMania is supposed to be a feel-good culmination where the babyfaces triumph and the heels get the comeuppance they deserve. Most of these matches don't feel that way. This show feels like a hodgepodge of matches without any focus or attention to detail.
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