4. Perry Saturn loses his marbles
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Perry Saturn has been away from the ring for a long time, so you’d be forgiven for forgetting that the man had serious chops in between the ropes. Perry Saturn made his name in ECW as one half of the Eliminators and was known for combining martial arts and a litany of suplexes to punish his foes. He was a bonafide asskicker.
He was also known for mixing it up in the WWF Hardcore division and you can only take so many shots to the noggin before something bad happens. In a storyline as hilarious as it is politically incorrect (and something that would NEVER EVER fly in today’s WWE), Perry Saturn would spend several weeks taking repeated bad shots to the head. Whether it was trash can lids, steel chairs or Test’s devastating boot, Saturn had his eggs scrambled over and over and over again. Until finally, we got the omelette. Perry would lose his marbles and begin acting increasingly more erratic. It began with the eyes crossing and nonsensical verbal utterances, such as “The blue crayons are for fiber!” and “YOU’RE WELCOME”, which Damien Sandow would gleefully steal many years later. As the headshots got worse, so did Perry. Soon, he was telling D-Von Dudley to get the muffins and he would go on to dump Terri Runnels for a mop. God bless you, Perry Saturn.
