WWE Superstars: It's Morphing Time

6- Slater meets Rhyno

Slater Gator was ok, but Slater Rhyno was met with puzzled looks.

Yes! This is the one I’ve been waiting for since before I even knew I wanted it. At Backpeddle, Heath Slater and Rhyno became the first ever Smackdown Tag Team champions and Heath got a contract (and a sweet new shirt). This made me very happy. There was only one thing about their newfound respect and/or love for each other I wasn’t 100% behind.

For the past few weeks I’ve been setting up gofundme, Kickstarter, IndieGoGo and MoveOn.org accounts, White House petitions, and even reached out to PunkVoter, who were really no help at all, all in an attempt to get Heath and The Manbeast to name their tag team name to the best name ever: One Man Gore.

And guess what? One Man Gore can be shortened to OMG! You know how WWE has their OMG! Moments, broken down into lists and often found on The Network? Well, every single thing this team does could then be considered an OMG Moment. Rhyno gores the knickers off an opponent? OMG Moment. Heath talks about how many kids he has? OMG Moment. Air guitar spot? OMG Moment. Rhyno and Slater hang out in a double-wide? OMG Moment. Rhyno eats chips? NUMBER ONE OMG MOMENT OF THE YEAR.

The problem, as many kept pointing out, was that the “One” part of OMG was false because there are two of them. I tried to rationalize that only one of the two “gored” people so it made sense but in my heart, I knew my perfect name was flawed. Enter Darth Coulson. He solved that problem in one fell swoop of his morphing wand and BLAMMO! One Man Gore (OMG!) is made whole. Done and done.

So shout-out to Reddit user Darth Coulson for making my dreams, and nightmares, a reality. Seriously, writing this conjured up so many horror movie memories that my wife is starting to worry.