5 Worst Kane storylines

Glenn Jacobs has been in the WWE fold since 1995, competing under a string of unsuccessful gimmicks like Dr. Isaac Yankem and fake Diesel, before re-debuting at Badd Blood: In Your House as The Undertaker’s younger brother Kane.

Kane has been around since 1997 using basically the same moveset and mannerisms. When you’ve been around for as long as Kane has, you’re bound to be in some bad storylines and Kane’s had his share.

Here are the 5 worst Kane storylines:

5. Kane vs Shane

Since losing his mask in 2003, Kane had turned into a raging psychopath, attacking everyone in his path. This ended with him Tombstone-ing Linda McMahon on the entrance ramp. This drew the wrath of Shane McMahon and they feuded uninspiringly over the next few months.

Their antics involved Kane electrocuting Shane McMahon’s testicles, Shane sabotaging Kane’s limo and...a fancy dinner together..? What garbage!!!

4. Kane Unmasks

In 2003, Triple H offered Kane a spot in his faction, Evolution. The Co-GM of Raw at the time, Stone Cold Steve Austin offered Kane a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship if he decided to refuse Triple H’s offer. Co-GM Eric Bischoff later made this a mask-for-title match. Triple H beat Kane clean in the match, and this was on free TV, not even PPV.

After years of hearing about Kane’s origin story about how his was burnt and mangled in the fire that burnt down his family home, fans didn’t know what to expect in the moments before Kane’s unmasking. The monster was about to get unmasked. What they got was Kane’s face covered in a pile of soot.

How were WWE going to explain that Kane had no burn marks on his face? They didn’t bother to, of course.

3: May 19th

The fact that this storyline isn’t number 1 on this list, just shows you what going to come later on in this list.

In 2006 Kane started hearing voices in his head. The worst part about this was that the crowd could hear the voices too. How does that make any sense? Kane suddenly started going berserk whenever he heard the date May 19th, even though Kane had been around since 1997 without ever doing so before.

It was later revealed that May 19th was the day when Kane’s mother and adopted family perished when a fire engulfed their family home. Around May 19th, 2006, a fake Kane (played by Doc Gallows) appeared to take out Kane. This whole storyline was present to help promote Kane’s film See No Evil and ended with Kane losing to fake Kane, before attacking the impostor the next night an driving him out of the WWE.

2: Kane and Lita

For every great wrestling storyline there are those that make us go “WHY? Why do we watch this?”

Anyone who’s seen the Kane and Lita storyline without bashing in their TV has an ungodly amount of patience. Following his defeat at WrestleMania XX, Kane fell in love with a certain Lita, but was spurned. This led to him kidnapping Lita and asking her an unknown question, to which she replied in the affirmative later that month.

Lita later announced that she was pregnant with on-and-off screen boyfriend Matt Hardy. On the June 21 episode of Raw, Kane declared that he was the father of Lita’s baby. Kane beat Hardy at SummerSlam for the chance to marry Lita. Kane later fell on Lita during a match to force her to lose the baby. The storyline ended a few months later when Lita turned on Kane and helped Edge beat him.

This story was vile garbage, notwithstanding the vague rape connotations. Thank god WWE is PG now. At least we don’t get trash storylines like this anymore.

1: KATIE VICK!!!

Where do I begin with this one? The Katie Vick storyline is one of the worst that WWE has ever done. I’ll sum up the storyline in one word, necrophilia. Yes, necrophilia.

In October 2002, Kane started feuding with Triple H in the lead up to No Mercy. In the weeks preceding No Mercy, Triple H cut promos telling the story of Katie Vick, a woman Kane had fallen in love with, who didn’t love him back.

He claimed that after Vick was killed in a car crash, Kane had had sex with her. Triple H later threatened to show video footage of Kane committing the act. However, the footage that Triple H produced, showed him dressed as Kane at a funeral pretending to make love to a mannequin. Yes, a mannequin.

Needless to say, WWE want you to forget that the Katie Vick angle ever happened.