Lessons From Cena
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Brie wants to learn how to drive stick because she needs more boner joke fodder, so she enlists the help of sorta brother-in-law Cena to teach her. We learned earlier that she is not a fan of Bryan’s driving after he successfully drove when she wasn’t driving.
Keep in mind the car they were in was decidedly not a stick shift, so I’m not sure what’s going on at this point. Does Brie just think everything retro is cool? And that stick shifts are gonna make a comeback? And are retro? When I’m president of TV I’m gonna cast Brie on to the millennial tribe of Survivor. Someone has to be the first voted off.
Female superstar says she inspired John Cena turning heel HERE
So Brie sucks at driving stick. Heavens to Betsy, she got “forward” and “backward” confused right off the bat and then proceeded to mangle the transmission of John’s Jeep for what I hope was no more than a 50-foot loop.
It was rough, but Cena is such a good teacher that everyone seems to have forgotten his bloodlust for Josie. Speaking of Josie, she’s suspiciously absent from this episode, save about 5 seconds at the top of the show. She’s either learned to keep her head down and ride this out, or our worst fears have already come true.
John is such a good teacher that she learned nothing but he’s still the best at teaching. I’m worried Brie is getting caught up in the same mind control powers that Nikki is already fully immersed in. Bryan is none too pleased with his wife going to others for help so he inadvertently casts himself in Swim Fan 2.
After a rousing game of Who’s The Boss? (Spoiler: It’s Sasha Banks), Bryan, a man who has driven stick his whole life, learns that Brie prefers lessons from John because he played a guy that drove stick in a movie once.
In a rare childish move, Bryan asks Lexie, JJ’s sister-in-law, if she was ever on a swim team and if she has bigger boobs than Brie. The answer to both is “yes” so he’s gonna go with her as his swimming teacher and now Brie is upset.
The “swimming lesson” portion of this episode is filled with side eyes from Brie, boobs from Lexie, and splash-shaming from Bryan and JJ. Brie makes everyone uncomfortable, especially Lexie, because she’s not getting sexed up enough. Sure hope we don’t have to hear more about the Bellas’ sex lives tonight…
