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On the previous episode (March 10th, 1997) Monday Night RAW drew it's lowest TV Rating for the entire year of 1997 despite featuring a classic main event.
You can keep track of all the 1997 RAW recaps by clicking here.
In order to shake things up, RAW somehow declares 'war' upon itself from this episode onwards (March 10th). Before we start, make sure to share these recaps around if you want us to stay in business, unlike WCW.
RAW IS War folks!
New Champs in WWE! More RIGHT HERE
MATCHES-
1) Rocky Maivia vs. Tony Roy.
2) Pierroth, Heavy Metal, & Pentagon vs. Latin Lover, Hector Garza, & Octagon.
3) Ahmed Johnson vs. Roy Raymond.
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4) The New Blackjacks (Blackjack Windham & Blackjack Bradshaw) vs. Owen Hart & The British Bulldog.
5) Miguel Perez vs. Leif Cassidy.
6) Billy Gunn vs. Aldo Montoya.
7) Goldust (w/ Marlena) vs. Tim McNeedy.
8) The Undertaker & Psycho Sid vs. Mankind & Vader (w/ Paul Bearer).
What Show is This?
As viewers were expecting a cheesy RAW intro that everyone was accustomed to on the night of March 10th, 1997- WWF suddenly changed their whole intro, introduced pyrotechnics & inserted a gigantic TitanTron in the arena with a huge steel ramp leading up to the ring.
The intro features chaos, destruction & all-out WAR looped with a nu-metal track titled "Thorn In Your Eye". The lyrics in the intro itself go something like- "Too Much Dark! And Not Enough Sky! Why Am I The Thorn In Your Eye?" , which is just basically another way of saying that this show has been a THORN IN OUR EYES until now.
It also conveys the message that from this episode onwards, hide your parents...
RAW Is 2018
It was also from this episode onwards that RAW finally adopted a format it would keep on following for the next twenty years. So for all the fanfare of RAW IS WAR being instantly flawless, WWF immediately lowers expectations by starting off with a promo format that has been repeated almost each & every week since then- Two rivals start the show with complaining about teaming up with each other despite being advertised to do so beforehand, but still end teaming up in the main event nevertheless.
We begin with a very sweaty Psycho Sid complaining about teaming up with The Undertaker against Mankind & Vader tonight.
What happens next? You can bet your bottom dollar that the Deadman shows up (Who saw that coming?) The Undertaker says that he can take on Vader & Mankind by himself & does not need Sid's help at all.
Both of them are about to hit each other, but Paul Bearer, Vader & Mankind interrupt this convention. The whole situation erupts into a brawl, Vader hits 'Taker from behind, but Undertaker thinks that it was Sid who did it.
People loved it back then, but after seeing the same age-old trope being played out way later in 2018 too, you have to ask yourselves- "Is Vince Russo still secretly working for the WWE?"
"Wrestling Mania"
MATCH #1: ROCKY MAIVIA vs. TONY ROY
This whole circus lasted for about two minutes.
At the very beginning, The Iron Shiek, Bob Backlund & The Sultan showed up on the ramp. The Iron Sheik had a message for WWF Intercontinental Champion Rocky Maivia, & it sounded like this- "In the wrestling mania, my man Sultan gonna show you who is da' real champion!"
Sheik went back to uttering indecipherable words as it was Bob Backlund's turn to say- "Stand up when I'm talking to you young man!" whilst Rocky Maivia was standing in the ring all along.
Before you know it, Rocky is perched on the top-rope. He goes for a cross-body that covers about 3/4ths of the wrestling ring. Rocky wins the match by pinning 'Mr. Jobber' Tony Roy under 2 minutes.
Result: Rocky Maivia wins the match.
After the match, Backlund, Sheik & Sultan try to attack Rocky Maivia. The Rookie Sensation somehow manages to fend off all three of them at the same time, or maybe his intimidating "Chia Pet" hair did it for him.
Rocky finds his dad's former tag-team partner, Tony Atlas sitting in a very uncomfortable aisle of seats near the steel ramp. Both of them head backstage together as if to further stress the point that "Rocky Maivia comes from a legendary family of wrestlers & he does not cheat & he has a great future ahead of him, so please cheer for him, ladies & gentlemen".
MATCH #2: PIERROTH, HEAVY METAL, & PENTAGON vs. LATIN LOVER, HECTOR GARZA, & OCTAGON
The last time we had wrestlers from the AAA doing fancy moves in a six-man tag team affair that nobody cared about was at the 1997 Royal Rumble Pay-Per-View.
Except this time around, the commentators talk about Jerry Lawler & Paul E. Dangerously's upcoming 'Great Debate', the cameraman spots a BIONIC woman in the crowd who has to be escorted out of the arena immediately & we get a split-screen view of Brian Pillman revealing that he would be coming back to the WWF on Shotgun Saturday Night.
Yes, if you're wondering- All of this happens in ONE SINGLE MATCH.
So let us start off with Jerry Lawler's well-known dislike for Mexican wrestlers-
Lawler: "There must be a lot of ugly people in Mexico, McMahon..."
McMahon: "Why's that?"
Lawler: "Well, almost all of them wear masks!"
Next, McMahon sells the Great Debate between Lawler & Paul E later on during this bout, to which Lawler replies- "Look at Paul E, he needs to wear a mask. He looks like a bloated toad frog..."
But then one of my absolute favorite moments of the entire night occurs when JR & McMahon start to compare Paul E & Jerry Lawler's upcoming debate against other 'actual' historically significant debates between Abraham Lincoln & Stephen Douglas back in 1858.
"Child's play compared to what I'm about to do to him," replies Jerry Lawler.
As for the match itself, there are just so many instances where it is impossible to hold your laughter back. Like there comes a point where Pentagon (kayfabe ancestor of Pentagon Jr.) & Octagon are tagged into the match at the same time. The funny thing is that both of them dress 90% alike & perform the same exact moves. This makes Lawler go- "These guys look like twin brothers from different mothers!"
The camera pans to the audience mid-way through this bout, where we see security ordering Chyna to leave the arena. To be clear, WWF has not acknowledged her as "Chyna" yet, so Vince McMahon just goes- "Get that woman outta there...Get that woman outta there! That's a BIONIC woman!"
The security manhandles her to the exit, & I cannot help but notice the sarcasm in Vince's tone as he states- "That lady is gonna be history. She won't interfere anymore!"
The audience is not even interested in this AAA affair even if Latin Lover (one half of the Sexy Boys) executes an impressive powerbomb.
But our night of constant interruptions continues as the view turns split-screen & Brian Pillman reveals that he will be returning to the WWF on Shotgun Saturday Night. Remember, the last surreal moment when we saw Pillman was back in 1996 when he pointed a gun at Stone Cold Steve Austin and announced his intention to "kill that son of a b*tch!"
As for the climax of the match- Latin Lover misses the frog splash by a mile & Heavy Metal pins him for the win. Vince McMahon throughout this whole match was like- "So quick, all superstars from AAA! Very, very quick. They are quick as cats. What a buncha' matadores ladies & gentlemen!"
They said RAW was going to be WAR. This match was a war between constant interruptions that were pretty entertaining to watch. It is still better than watching 8 minutes of lucha-libre action without any context from start to finish...
Result: Heavy Metal, Pierroth & Pentagon win the match.
Ahmed Johnson Loves Baby Oil
Match #3: Ahmed Johnson vs. Roy Raymond
This match has a suspiciously similar structure to the Rocky Maivia bout earlier in the night. Ahmed also faces a jobber here, & the match is also just under two minutes. Not only that but instead of The Sultan & his accomplices shouting at Maivia from the steel ramp, we have the Nation of Domination rapping at Ahmed Johnson from the safety of the steel ramp.
Oh my god, did Vince Russo just rip himself off in order to fill time?
But what you need to know, is that Ahmed Johnson loves Baby Oil. I am not kidding, you can take a look at this fine specimen walking to the ring, smothered in excess amounts of oil that makes him look like a walrus from Antarctica so much so, that even Vince McMahon literally goes- "Oh my god, look at him!"
NOD crash the party about ten seconds in, Ahmed still keeps wrestling (just like Rocky Maivia) & eventually squashes Raymond using a Pearl River Plunge.
Result: Ahmed Johnson wins via pinfall.
But that's not it. Farooq has to talk about how Ahmed doesn't know what the "real streets are like", to which, Ahmed replies- "First of all let me tell you somethin' you overdressed choco colored punk..." Oh my god.
On the previous episode, Ahmed said (in Ahmedese) that he was not going to be accepting the challenge at WrestleMania all by himself. He brings out the Legion of Doom as his team in this episode, which made the audience go crazy.
Farooq stares at them with a sad puppy face, but from the inside, he ought to be glad that this trainwreck of a feud is finally going somewhere at last.
It would have worked 10x better if the Legion of Doom didn't come up with insults like- "When we get done with you, you'll look like a sweaty, fly cover pile of RAW Sweat Socks!"
RAW Is 2018.
Match #4: The New Blackjacks (Blackjack Windham & Blackjack Bradshaw) vs. Owen Hart & The British Bulldog
Contradicting the phrase "RAW Is 2018", Blackjack Bradshaw a.k.a future JBL plays into the "dirty hillbilly" stereotype by saying- "But you know, there is one good thing about you (Owen Hart) besides that Slammy you carry around...YOU SURE GOTS YOU SOME REEEAL PURDY LIPS, BOY!" (Oh no)
After Owen Hart & The British Bulldog's iconic match from the previous episode, we are subjected to an unimpressive tag team match this time around.
The finish makes absolutely no sense- Owen Hart gets Blackjack Windham/Barry Windham into a sharpshooter, so Bradshaw tries to break it up. The British Bulldog clotheslines Bradshaw before the latter could break the submission. But Bradshaw gets up & tries to break the submission again. The British Bulldog clotheslines him for a second time. If you think that wasn't enough, then they go at it for a THIRD consecutive time, & Bulldog even shoves the referee for no reason, prompting the referee to end the match & disqualify the champs.
Result: The New Blackjacks win via DQ.
After the ad-break, Taz is somehow near the ringside, & is trying to get his hands on Jerry Lawler.
Lawler has had enough, & both of them start grappling each other near ringside. Out of nowhere, Sabu magically springboards off a chair onto both of them outside the ring, except, he catapults himself right into a table!
For people who did not watch ECW back then, the only two times we have ever seen Sabu on WWF TV was a) When he jumped off the RAW logo for no reason two weeks ago, & b) When he catapulted himself onto a table in this episode.
Almost every ECW member comes out & checks on Sabu as if it's a big deal. It should be a big deal if it were anyone other than Sabu because we all know that going through a table & getting up two seconds later is Sabu's obligatory ritual in most matches he has participated in.
Jerry Lawler is the happiest person in the world as he goes & sits back in the commentary booth. They carry Sabu backstage (Correction: Sabu pushes the Sandman & insists on walking all by himself) just when Leif Cassidy (Al Snow) walks past them for his upcoming match. You bet Leif Cassidy's theme song hit right when he was already halfway through his entrance...
What a segue.
An Underwhelming Back-To-Back Triple Feature
There were three matches on this card that were fillers for more interesting topics. While the topics other than the match were interesting itself (another Vince Russo trademark) let's see how all three bouts stack up against each other...
Match #5: Miguel Perez vs. Leif Cassidy
A lot of awkward wrestling happens in this match. Al Snow is not a bad worker, but Miguel Perez's wild back-hair & the bout's overall length (4:08) was enough for the commentators to cut into more interesting topics than the match itself. For those who don't remember, Miguel Perez had defected from WCW to WWF & stumbled his way through commentary two weeks ago.
He wins the match by rolling Leif Cassidy's powerbomb into a quick pin.
Result: Miguel Perez wins via pinfall.
Now the interesting unrelated things that happened during this match, brought to you by Vince Russo's chaotic new format-
1) It is announced that Bret Hart will face-off against Psycho Sid in a steel cage for the WWF Title Rematch on next week's RAW Is WAR! That is roughly six days before WrestleMania 13!
2) We get a split-screen of Paul E & Jerry Lawler, cutting off the match entirely, where Lawler makes comical expressions as Paul E vehemently declares (to Vince)- "I'll constrain my guys...You constrain your comedian!"
On to the next stinker...
Match #6: Billy Gunn vs. Aldo Montoya
Honky Tonk Man comes out & misdirects the fans by declaring that Worcester, Massachusets is not worthy of his musical performance. Elias vibes, anyone? RAW Is 2018.
HTM joins commentary nevertheless. Billy Gunn is back, after a "career-threatening neck injury". Gunn is just another cowboy on the roster as of now. He stomps on Aldo in the corner & even gets a neck-breaker in between. Gunn ends it all with an impressive flying leg-drop, but viewers miss that spot as we quickly cut into a Sunny promo just before the finish takes place (PS: Nobody is complaining)
Sunny: "Undercover with Sunny. I like that. Hey Vince, wouldn't you like to get "under-cover" with Sunny? I bet Billy Gunn would like to get "under-cover" with Sunny as soon as he hears what I have to say about him. Tune into Shotgun Saturday Night to hear all the best gossip in wrestling with 'Undercover with Sunny'!"
Vince McMahon would have totally said yes if he was already the world's worst boss by now...
Result: Billy Gunn wins via pinfall.
On to the last stinker...
Match #7: Goldust (w/ Marlena) vs. Tim McNeedy
After Vince Russo ripped himself off with the "wrestler wrestling against jobber while rival is watching from the ramp" trope, you wouldn't believe it, he DOES it for the THIRD consecutive time on the same night!
Goldust is the "wrestler" wrestling against the "jobber" Tim McNeedy, while HHH & Chyna/that BIONIC woman/that Amazon, watch it all unfold from the steel ramp.
Goldust wins the bout using the Curtain Call. After the match, that "Amazonian" makes her way to the ring as a distraction when HHH jumps Goldust from behind immediately.
Result: Goldust wins via pinfall.
Unexpectedly, Marlena pounces on that BIONIC Woman from behind, refusing to let go of her. The officials try to pull them apart, & Marlena even gets an audible slap in, which shocks everyone.
Chyn- I mean, that Amazonian woman gets so angry, that she immediately hoists a referee (Harvey Wippleman) on top & tosses him on to the rest of the officials! The audience was going nuts for this one. After all, Chyna was truly a breath of fresh air in the late 90's wrestling landscape.
Ken Shamrock Makes A Big Announcement
This truly defines the whole point of the show.
Steve Austin & Bret Hart's feud has consecutively delivered each & every week. This episode is no different. We also earlier noted that Bret Hart will be involved in a title rematch on the next episode.
Ken Shamrock arrives in the ring & explains how grateful he is to be part of the WWF. Shamrock will be the special guest referee for Bret Hart vs. Stone Cold at WrestleMania 13!
That is all good until we hear a very familiar voice interrupt him in between- "Shut your hole, Shamrock! Just shut your hole son!"
We can see Stone Cold on the TitanTron. Steve Austin says that he has no idea "what the hell Bret Hart's doing to get all these title shots" because it's a "complete buncha' BS" that Bret Hart gets a title shot six days before WrestleMania 13.
Interestingly, Stone Cold will be rooting for Bret Hart to win because ultimately, if Bret Hart wins the title next week, then their match at WrestleMania will involve the WWF Championship as well.
What happens next is probably one of the best moments of the entire show. Bret Hart interrupts Austin's ramblings, shows up in casual clothes with sunglasses on as if indicating that he doesn't even care about wrestling at this point. The Hitman completely ignores Stone Cold & Ken Shamrock & finally acknowledges the anti-Bret posters popping all over the arenas just after a fan audibly chants "SHUT UP!" in the background.
Bret Hart gets too proud of himself. He even states that "nobody knows submission wrestling better than me", right in front of Ken Shamrock's face, as the latter can do nothing but smile at the irony of Bret's statement.
Bret goes on to say "I've been screwed" in about each & every sentence of that promo. The amount of whining gets too much, as Ken Shamrock adequately replies- "I'm not a marriage counselor. I'm not here to listen to your problems..."
The audience cheer for Shamrock because they agree with him 100%. Austin shows up on the ramp to a huge crowd reception & shows both of them the finger to end this segment.
People say it was WrestleMania 13 where it all changed, but I'd say that around 50% of the audience already turned on Bret Hart during this segment...
The Great Debate Shall Commence!
After all the teases embedded throughout this episode, the Great Debate is finally here!
The first great moment is when JR introduces Paul E Dangerously as the one representing Extreme Championship Wrestling, but JR introduces Lawler as the one representing himself, not the WWF!
They begin the debate with a comical question- "Should ECW Even Exist?"
JR quips that they had an obligatory coin toss back in the locker room (of course) (even McMahon laughed at this one), & Mr. Lawler won the toss, so he goes first for 90 seconds.
Lawler comes up with the following points-
1) The question isn't whether ECW Should Exist, the question should be whether ECW DOES Exist in the first place or not.
2) A bunch of misfits decided to migrate to Philadelphia & get hit in the head with frying pans & barbed wire baseball bats to get more idiots in Philly to come to see them.
JR: "Your time is up"
Lawler: "My time is not up!"
3) ECW draws about 1100 people in bingo halls in Philly, whereas WWF draws around 22,000 people whenever they come to Philadelphia. There are 1100 morons that'll rather come watch paint dry.
Paul E finally gets some words in eventually, & gets into the heart & soul of ECW. Other ECW superstars come out to have his back. Paul E even says that WWF drawing around 22,000 people is not a testament to anything Jerry Lawler has achieved in his life.
It gets to a point where they literally turn it into a 'shoot' segment. Both of them even use the word 'shoot' on what could possibly be the first time on WWF TV.
Paul E: “You wanna shoot with me? You wanna shoot with me?”
Lawler: “Yeah, I’m shootin’ with you! That’s right.”
Paul E: “Hey – How ya doin’ at the see-saws in Louisville, Jerry? Your OWN SONS don’t even call themselves Lawlers. Why? Why? Because they’re ashamed of your ass! We earned everything we got! We give these people their money’s worth!”
Lawler: “You never earned anything in your life. You’re a 35-year-old man…”
Paul E: “How old are you?”
More ECW guys come up to the ring. Jerry Lawler says that even he could order the entire WWF Roster to come in & annihilate them.
But when Lawler gets backed up into a corner, nobody from the WWF Roster comes out to save him! Tommy Dreamer says they'll start a war if Lawler wants to start one.
The segment ends without any violence but leaves us with a ton of quotes & impressive dialogue.
RAW Is WAR everyone.
We All Live Inside Vince Russo's Dream...
Match #8: The Undertaker & Psycho Sid vs. Mankind & Vader (w/ Paul Bearer)
Psycho Sid has already arrived in the ring. Vader & Mankind follow next. You might have never guessed what happens next, but wait for it...
...The Undertaker is LATE.
Mankind & Vader obliterate Sid in the ring, that is until 'Taker finally shows up. He chokeslams Vader & boots him out of the ring.
Mankind in return delivers a Cactus clothesline to Undertaker & both of them topple over. Remember how Undertaker thought it was Sid who attacked him from behind during the start of this show?
Undertaker finally gets a chance & delivers a chokeslam to Sid for it. This is just one of the many "miscommunication" tropes that will follow on into the next 20 years of this company.
But without any warning, Undertaker suddenly just decides to fly over the top rope onto his opponents! Nobody ever saw that coming. However, in the end, Psycho Sid repays the favor by power-bombing Undertaker in the ring.
Sid just bails out of the match, & Vader pins The Undertaker for the win...
Result: Vader & Mankind win via pinfall.
Undertaker rushes off to the backstage area to chase Sid & that is the last we see of him.
As Vader's theme is playing over the last few seconds of the show, Vince reminds us of the mega main-event next week (Sid vs. Bret, Steelcage Match for the WWF Title). Bret Hart is standing by backstage-
Vince: "Bret Hart, how did you get the title match next week?"
Bret: "How did I get it?"
Vince: "Yes!"
Bret: "I guess I got it by crying a lot about it..."
He calls Sid a 'giraffe' & vows to win his title rematch next week. Like I said, around half of the WWF Audience must have already turned their back on Bret during this episode. Until next time, "WHY AM I THE THORN IN YOUR EYE!"
So that was the first-ever RAW Is WAR episode in history, a show not without its faults, but with a lot of highlights as well.
Sure, a lot of matches get interrupted with unrelated segments & promos, but that just sums up the chaotic nature of how things work in the early days of the Attitude Era. Things are finally happening around this period of RAW, which is a lot better than the lack of any substantial heat in shows during the beginning of 1997.
Suddenly, Professional Wrestling is not the primary component of a Professional Wrestling show anymore, & it just works somehow...
GRADE: B-
Join me next time as I recap the March 17th, 1997 edition of Monday Night RAW RAW IS WAR! Until then, you can check out the previous episode's recap by clicking here. You can also follow me here to stay updated. Send me interesting stuff/picture edits/facts/feedback regarding the old-school recaps or anything Pro-Wrestling related at E-Mail: [email protected].
Thanks for reading this recap, leave your thoughts in the comments section & stay tuned for more...
