WWF RAW Is WAR Review: March 10th, 1997

An Underwhelming Back-To-Back Triple Feature

A very hairy Perez...

There were three matches on this card that were fillers for more interesting topics. While the topics other than the match were interesting itself (another Vince Russo trademark) let's see how all three bouts stack up against each other...

Match #5: Miguel Perez vs. Leif Cassidy

A lot of awkward wrestling happens in this match. Al Snow is not a bad worker, but Miguel Perez's wild back-hair & the bout's overall length (4:08) was enough for the commentators to cut into more interesting topics than the match itself. For those who don't remember, Miguel Perez had defected from WCW to WWF & stumbled his way through commentary two weeks ago.

He wins the match by rolling Leif Cassidy's powerbomb into a quick pin.

Result: Miguel Perez wins via pinfall.

Now the interesting unrelated things that happened during this match, brought to you by Vince Russo's chaotic new format-

1) It is announced that Bret Hart will face-off against Psycho Sid in a steel cage for the WWF Title Rematch on next week's RAW Is WAR! That is roughly six days before WrestleMania 13!

2) We get a split-screen of Paul E & Jerry Lawler, cutting off the match entirely, where Lawler makes comical expressions as Paul E vehemently declares (to Vince)- "I'll constrain my guys...You constrain your comedian!"

On to the next stinker...

Billy Gunn is back...

Match #6: Billy Gunn vs. Aldo Montoya

Honky Tonk Man comes out & misdirects the fans by declaring that Worcester, Massachusets is not worthy of his musical performance. Elias vibes, anyone? RAW Is 2018.

HTM joins commentary nevertheless. Billy Gunn is back, after a "career-threatening neck injury". Gunn is just another cowboy on the roster as of now. He stomps on Aldo in the corner & even gets a neck-breaker in between. Gunn ends it all with an impressive flying leg-drop, but viewers miss that spot as we quickly cut into a Sunny promo just before the finish takes place (PS: Nobody is complaining)

"Under-cover" with Sunny

Sunny: "Undercover with Sunny. I like that. Hey Vince, wouldn't you like to get "under-cover" with Sunny? I bet Billy Gunn would like to get "under-cover" with Sunny as soon as he hears what I have to say about him. Tune into Shotgun Saturday Night to hear all the best gossip in wrestling with 'Undercover with Sunny'!"

Vince McMahon would have totally said yes if he was already the world's worst boss by now...

Result: Billy Gunn wins via pinfall.

On to the last stinker...

Match #7: Goldust (w/ Marlena) vs. Tim McNeedy

After Vince Russo ripped himself off with the "wrestler wrestling against jobber while rival is watching from the ramp" trope, you wouldn't believe it, he DOES it for the THIRD consecutive time on the same night!

Goldust is the "wrestler" wrestling against the "jobber" Tim McNeedy, while HHH & Chyna/that BIONIC woman/that Amazon, watch it all unfold from the steel ramp.

Goldust wins the bout using the Curtain Call. After the match, that "Amazonian" makes her way to the ring as a distraction when HHH jumps Goldust from behind immediately.

Result: Goldust wins via pinfall.

Unexpectedly, Marlena pounces on that BIONIC Woman from behind, refusing to let go of her. The officials try to pull them apart, & Marlena even gets an audible slap in, which shocks everyone.

BAW GAWD!

Chyn- I mean, that Amazonian woman gets so angry, that she immediately hoists a referee (Harvey Wippleman) on top & tosses him on to the rest of the officials! The audience was going nuts for this one. After all, Chyna was truly a breath of fresh air in the late 90's wrestling landscape.