Satire: Bhajji cements CL T20 place

After a sterling performance, comeback man, Harbhajan Singh, has firmly cemented his place in the Mumbai Indians squad for the upcoming Champions League. A match winning 4-12 was enough to earn him the man-of-the-match plaudits which only furthered his place in the Mumbai team.

Said an emotional Bhajji at the post-match presser, ‘I would like to thank God for giving me this opportunity to play in this game and get these wickets. By God, I, of course, mean Sachin paaji. I would also like to thank my coach and all my support staff. Without them, I could never have achieved this. I would like to thank, most of all, the English batsmen for having no clue as to how to play spin. I believe that this was one of the key reasons for my splendid performance.

‘They did not know that I have forgotten how to spin the ball and that my straighter one is actually my stock delivery now. For that, I would like to thank the England coach, Andy Flower, as well. Well, if I keep going, then it will take too much time so I will stop.

‘But before I stop, I would like to thank God. Wait, I’ve already thanked God? Never mind. I shall thank God again and also Mukesh ji and Nita ji. And God.

Bhajji’s superlative performance also gives the team management a headache now with all three spinners getting in amongst the wickets. When quizzed on this, Bhajji said, ‘Yes, it is a good position for India to be in. I would like to thank God for getting India into this position. Piyush is also bowling well now and so is Ashwin. So, it will be tough for the team management to leave one of us out. Maybe we can play with all three spinners and I can open the innings as well. Batting, that is. They tried an experiment with Irfan and that did not really work out but I can certainly do better. I would like to thank God for that too.

Now that Harbhajan has announced his intent to become India’s next Manoj Prabhakar, opening both the batting and the bowling, and with God’s help, fans feel that India have finally found their answer to the all-rounder problem.

Said a knowledgeable fan, ‘Yes, of course Bhajji can open the batting. And the bowling. In the nets.’ Another fan said, ‘Hahahaha! Sehwag may be in pathetic form but at least he spins the ball more than Bhajji. When the both of them practice in the nets, of course.’

Clearly, not everyone is convinced.