Jumping Jhapak just shut up already

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Sportskeeda.

“Sirf dekhne ka nahi”. True, I’m not going to sit and take this any more. The next IPL season may play host to a jingle which is even more mindlessly irritating than this one, unless something is done about it. While I doubt that an impassioned prose will go a long way in stopping the IPL from coming up with another kaanfaadu (ear-splitting) jingle, every little voice helps.

Writing is all about emotion and belief. Belief that what you are trying to express has already taken shape on paper, and strong emotion which drives you towards it. I was fully confident that a vitriol of a piece ought to materialise on this jingle, and I had a fair amount of emotion bubbling against it already. Although I had a lot of angst stored within me, it hadn’t reached boiling point. As evidence of my dedication to my craft, I downloaded the heathen jingle and put it on loop for 10 minutes. They say that pain motivates art. If so, the following piece ought to belong in an art museum.

I’m open-minded enough to recognise that people may have different tastes and there are many people who probably like this jingle. But it seems that there is a near-unanimous opinion that this jingle is the worst thing to hit us in a long while. Let’s take an objective look at this jingle. I move for jingle recall. I don’t think there has been a precedent for this before. But if any jingle justified such action, it’s this one. I was okay with leaving it alone to mess with the sanity of cricket fans. If you choose to follow a sport, which makes stationary cows out of the fielders, chewing cud while awaiting the ball to come your way, well that is your business. I was content to leave this jingle alone, until it started messing with the NBA coverage. Even then I could deal with it as I was following some games online and some on TV. But as the conference finals have just rolled around, every single match is being shown live on Sony SIX. That meant having to deal with Farah Khan jumping upon you.

The only time I switch on the TV, besides when someone I know is on it, is when I’m watching basketball. That’s shown on Sony SIX, something David Stern is happy about. He’s happy that the NBA is on the same network as the IPL. Normally it doesn’t bother me, but this means that the IPL has ads which it airs during the commercials. One minute I’ll be pumping my fists at the rim slamming action, the next I’ll be shielding my ears from the assault of jumping dils. These ads just sneak up on you when you are trying to catch some basketball. Like a thief in the night, an overcoat-wearing, cigarette-smoking shyster leaning against a lamppost at night, ready to pounce on you, this jingle catches you unawares as the first ad on TV in between programs.

Fans of the NBA are being treated to the playoffs on Sony SIX. More often than not as a match would transition into a commercial, Farah Khan would jump out with glee and reproach random people, imploring them “Sirf dekhne ka nahi.” This would be followed by them dancing along to the jingle. It’s bad enough that something like this has made it on air, but they are even promoting it via what I assume is a paid endorsement or a fake one.

“A bunch of our relatives had gathered at our place for a lazy Sunday lunch followed by back-to-back IPL matches on the television. Expectedly, everyone was feeling rather sleepy after a heavy lunch. But the minute the IPL match began and the batsman hit a six, my little cousin began his Jumping Jhapak jig. We were in splits watching him dance so excitedly and his enthusiasm was so contagious that soon some of us joined him. Needless to say, it was one big party after that,” says Rashmi Dayal, a student.

It seems like a bit of a stretch to think of a bunch of relatives jumping around post lunch. There are few things which make you get off the couch to jump around in the mid-day heat, and this jingle is decidedly not one of them. Unless you are bolting to change the channel or mute the television or run screaming from the room. Seriously, what does this jingle have going for it? The steps? The lyrics? Neither, I’d say. Many a besoora (tuneless) tune has been saved by ingenious dance steps. The dance steps of this song make you want to claw your eyes out. Here’s a recap of the moves – 1. Sway your hips one way while dusting them with one hand. 2. Repeat the same one the other side. 3. Do the gilli gilli. Nothing much to be said; if you’ve seen the steps in action you probably abhor it too. The lyrics go ‘Dil Jumping Jhapak Jumpak Jumpak… Thumping Thapak Thumpak ..Thumpak Gili Gili Yo’. Picture a monkey with cymbals perched on your shoulders.

All day long, he bangs them in your ears. That is the effect these lyrics have on me. The words Jumpak and Jhapak and Thumpak and Gilli don’t really mean anything. Besides Dil, Thumping and Jumping, the rest of the words in this song are meaningless. And even those words only have meaning in an isolated context. You want a catchy tune, you don’t have to go the Gangnam style route and come up with something which is so irritating and incomprehensible that it catches on. Take a look at the classic Roundball Rock -

Why can’t the IPL have some tune like that next season?