Ian Thorpe: Paying in honest coin to regain a lost soul

Ian Thorpe

No secret anymore

It was just a small personal detail. None of our business really, but in opening a window into his personal preferences, Ian Thorpe sought to emancipate himself from the immense burden of a simple lie. One that he did not have any obligation to start with in the first place, but that is the price one pays for fame in our convoluted voyeuristic world. At 31, we are not going to see much of him in the wet, but the Aussie will hope that the price of his admission will open the gates to a new life of freedom and joy.

Thorpe grew faster than he could swim. At 14, he had donned Australian colours; he was a World Champion at 16 and an undisputed king of swimming for the next eight years. When he decided it was time for him to seek some quiet solace, he was all of 24.

Initially, it was meant to be a year away from the sport. But illness forced him out of the Commonwealth Games in 2006 and soon a young Thorpedo was courting retirement and a life away from the blinding glare that surrounded his every move. Incredibly, Thorpe was questioned about his sexuality when he was just 16.

It has eventually taken the brilliant Australian 15 long years to answer that question with a straight face. The interview with Michael Parkinson, aired on Channel 10 this Sunday, had Thorpe deal with this question yet again. This time though, "I'm not straight and this is only something that very recently – we're talking in the past two weeks,” said Thorpe, “I've been comfortable telling the closest people around me."

Media frenzy

The throngs of media that followed his every triumph was just as curious about his personal life. So much so, that they followed him all the way to Brazil stalking him on a holiday with a friend. Thorpe was appalled and driven further into a shell when reports surfaced that the friend was his “lover.” The Aussie was deeply hurt to see his friends dragged into the vortex of his popularity.

The winner of five Olympic Gold medals, including three as a fledgling 17 year old in Sydney was building a legend each time he waded into the waters. Only a year later, Thorpe swept six gold medals at the Fukuoka World Championship to add to his growing reputation as the greatest swimmer alive at the time. His unprecedented success began to take a toll on the tender mind of a man who was still just a teenager.

Even as he worked to deal with the immense pressure of public expectation and the bothersome media attention, Thorpe was holding up reasonably well in the face of an immense amount of physical and emotional demands on his body and mind. Something had to give and a stressed Thorpe decided to take time out from swimming.

As the years rolled by, we continued to learn about his injury-ravaged body and a mind that slipped into an abyss of depression and hopelessness. Thorpe’s trauma with life played out to full galleries like a well-attended theatrical performance. His efforts to revisit competitive swimming fell flat in the face of constant injury and the machinations of a tormented mind.

A lone warrior

Speculation had been rife, even in the past, about the sexual orientation of Thorpe. It is a strange fixation that afflicts our disoriented species. Where is the need for the young or adolescent to face the world and declare their preferences in bed and barn? It was never enough for us to just admire the fluid skills of Thorpe in the swimming pool.

And our lust for being voyeurs caused Thorpe to live constantly in the morbid company of suicidal thoughts and debilitating depression. The many hours of muscle grinding hard work and an innumerable amount of medals were not enough to quench our thirst. Thorpe’s desire to battle for honour turned into a lone crusade that has consumed much of his soul.

Watch the video of Thorpe’s interview with Parkinson here:

Critics may continue to pan Thorpe for the timing of his admission – Channel Ten has signed him up as commentator for the forthcoming Commonwealth Games. Besides, the Aussie is said to have been paid upwards of half a million quid for his tête-à-tête with the legendary Parkinson. As late as 2012, Thorpe had denied being gay in his acclaimed autobiography, “This is me.”

A lot of people also believe that the Aussie has held back reality, because he feared losing his long list of A-class sponsors. Now that he has retired again in 2012, Thorpe seemed ready to turn a page and put the ghost of suspicion to death with an acknowledgement of being gay.

Live and let live

The sad fact though, is that many thousands of years into our existence; human beings are still uncomfortable with individual preferences of sexuality. As we continue to wonder why a simple admission has caused such global attention, it is time to wonder why we expect gays and lesbians to come out and declare, while heterosexuals Lech around with each other in the privacy of their homes.

While we cannot surmise that, this alone was the result of Thorpe’s many ills, it is certainly a factor in pushing the great swimmer into a life of depression and doldrums. It is a story that offers valuable lessons to humankind about the nature of our interactions and the unnecessary pressure with which we treat our stars.

We shall also hope that Thorpe can breathe easy and turn the page on a traumatic period in his glorious life.