"I am not probably alive without hockey": Brady Leavold opens up about mental health struggles, reveals crying himself to sleep

Brady Leavold has had a very up-and-down journey through life to this point. One thing has almost always been a constant through all the struggles: hockey. The sport has been with the 36-year-old for a very long time, and he recently revealed that it's probably the reason he is still standing today.

On the Mitts Off podcast, the hockey star discussed his mental health, saying that he believes he had trauma from childhood that went unaddressed. He tried to portray himself as someone he wasn't as a result of it:

"I had friends back home that thought I was living out this dream and nobody knew that I was crying myself to sleep. It just felt like there was times that was like, 'Well, what is there in this life that's going to make me happy if this is everything that I want and now it's not the way that maybe I thought it would be.'"

Leavold didn't specify a certain incident but acknowledged that everything had a part to play in one's struggles. He said he wasn't educated well and was probably both naive and cocky at times. He didn't think one choice would make a difference but is now in "disbelief" of where his choices took him.

He continued:

"I've come to find out there were several guys that were our peers at different times, ... who maybe are no longer here anymore because they went through similar things. ... I don't ever blame hockey, I'm not sitting here without hockey, I'm not probably alive without hockey."

He said hockey is the best sport with the best people in it.

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Brady Leavold opens up on bullying in hockey

Brady Leavold believes that a lot of coaches were players beforehand and have really never experienced life outside the hockey culture. Sports have their own cultures, and life apart from them is very different.

Brady Leavold in 2007 (Getty)

He said:

"When there's kids being hazed or bullied, they're like, 'Oh well, it's just part of the culture. That's what we went through, we're not going to say anything about it.' Nobody believes or can understand how really wrong it is."

These comments, while not directly related to any particular incident, come after the revelation that there was rampant hazing and lawsuits in the QMJHL.