The Onion drops epic satirical rundown of Taylor Swift’s “ex-boyfriends” amid Travis Kelce hullabaloo: “Her fans are f**king crazy”

A satirical list shows what Taylor Swift
A satirical list shows what Taylor Swift's "ex-boyfriends" have to say to Travis Kelce.

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's rumored budding romance has taken over the world of the NFL. The two are possibly the most talked-about people on the internet. Thus, it was only fair for The Onion to release a list of advice from the singer's ex-boyfriends to Kelce.

The Onion is a Chicago-based digital media company that publishes satirical articles on international, national and local news.

First up on the list was Taylor Lautner, whom she dated in the fall of 2009. This is what the satirical persona of the "Twilight" actor had to say to the Chiefs tight end:

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“Her fans are f**king crazy and awful and she hates their guts, so don’t say you support her fans.”

The second individual on this imaginary list was KC Wolf, the team's mascot, who warned Kelce:

“Trust me, buddy. She’s just in it for the tickets.”

The list also included Jake Gyllenhaal, the actor on whom she supposedly wrote the song "All Too Well":

“She watches too many beheading videos.”

The list also featured people whom she's never dated, but the entire list is made for a few laughs.

Fans believe Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's linkup is nothing but a smartly calculated PR stunt

After Taylor Swift attended the Chiefs game on Sunday, the internet was shaken, and users expressed their thoughts on the potential romantic relationship between her and Travis Kelce. Some were elated to know that they hung out with each other. However, there were many who thought that their union was a result of a calculated publicity stunt.

The speculation arises from Kelce's choice of outfit: a "1989 Bedroom Painting" matching set, referencing both the year of Swift's birth and the title of her album. Also, the rerecorded "Taylor's Version" of the same name is set to release in October.

Kelce had previously attempted to befriend Taylor Swift but was unable to due to her rigorous vocal schedule.

"I was disappointed that she doesn't talk before or after her shows, because she has to save her voice for the 44 songs that she sings, so I was a little butthurt I didn't get to hand her one of the bracelets I made for her," Kelce said.

Despite the skepticism, the two were seen together Sunday, surprising fans.

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Edited by Joseph Schiefelbein
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